10 Harsh Realities About Ross Geller’s Character In Friends We Took Too Long To Notice

Despite Ross being one of the beloved main characters on Friends, some harsh realities about his personality and actions are now difficult to ignore.
Ross Geller (David Schwimmer) is one of the six beloved main characters of Friends, yet some problems with his character become obvious in retrospect. Ross’ most significant storylines include his on-and-off relationship with Rachel (Jennifer Aniston), several marriages and divorces, and figuring out how to co-parent his son Ben with his ex-wife and her partner. Ross has provided many humorous moments, but some of them are in bad taste.

Ross and Rachel’s relationship is iconic but problematic. Some of Ross’ issues with Rachel repeat themselves in his other relationships, demonstrating that there are things he needs to work on as an individual. With his sister Monica (Courtney Cox) and their other friends, Ross can be encouraging but also incredibly arrogant at times.
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Ross Has A Superiority Complex
Ross is always telling other Friends that they are wrong.
Ross is arrogant and needs always to be the smartest person in the room. When Rachel and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) go to a self-defense class in season 6, episode 17, he could just be supportive and say it’s great that they are learning how to protect themselves. Instead, Ross insists that he has the skill of “Unagi” and outmatches them (he does not; they overpower him later to prove it).

In season 2, episode 3, he refuses to let it go when Phoebe says she doesn’t believe in evolution. Phoebe even points out Ross’ arrogance in this case. He consistently points out when Joey (Matt LeBlanc) is wrong (as due to the others). Ross might be correct, but that doesn’t mean he has to be rude about it.
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Ross Is Indecisive.
He must choose between Rachel and Julie, Rachel and Bonnie, Rachel and Emily…
Ross’ indecisiveness always leads to more drama. Chandler (Matthew Perry) and Joey help him make a list of reasons to date Julie vs. Rachel; Rachel ends up finding the list and is insulted by her cons. He is caught between his new girlfriend Bonnie and the possibility of getting back together with Rachel, only to lose them both. He famously says Rachel’s name while saying his vows to Emily, and then cannot decide whether to respect Emily’s wishes that he does not see Rachel again. Ross could have saved them all a lot of trouble if he had just made a choice and lived with it.
8
Ross Is Homophobic & Sexist
Evidenced by how he treats Carol and Susan, and other characters.
Carol and Susan are generally treated poorly by Friends’ writing, becoming the punchline of too many jokes based on being gay. While Ross understandsably has a complicated relationship with his ex-wife and her new partner, he is also uncomfortable with non-traditional gender roles. He spends an entire day trying to get his son to give up a Barbie doll (season 3, episode 4) and vetos hiring a male nanny for his daughter (season 9, episode 6). Finally, Ross belittles Rachel when she reveals her pregnancy in season 8, episode 3. He says they need to get married because there is no way she can make it as a single mother.
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He Dated Elizabeth
Ross’ relationship with a student is played as a joke.
In Friends season 6, Ross briefly dates Elizabeth, one of his students at NYU. While Elizabeth is technically an adult, it is still weird for Ross to be dating a woman more than a younger decade than him, especially since he admits in season 6, episode 24, that he doesn’t see a future with her. She is essentially an exciting young woman with whom he is having a fling. Elizabeth’s father, played by Bruce Willis, also appears in a few episodes and understandably doesn’t approve of the relationship. It is also generally unprofessional for Ross to date a student and could have ruined his career.
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Ross Is Just Obnoxious
Especially when he is rooming with Joey and Chandler.
After Ross breaks up with Emily in season 5, Chandler and Joey let him live with them while he finds a new apartment. Ross immediately starts setting his own rules and patronizes them about keeping the noise down, rather than respecting their routine. Ross exhibits other annoying behaviors: In season 2, episode 17, while he and Rachel are still together, he reverts back to being a mean older brother and takes over Monica’s apartment. In season 5, episode 16, he reveals that he kept track of the number of times he and Rachel slept together while they were dating. Things like this are just plain obnoxious.

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He Downplays Rachel’s Career
Ross should have understood why Rachel’s job was so important.
While they are together, Ross is continuously frustrated by Rachel having to work late and says he wishes she would realize it is “just a job.” If she had said the same thing about his job, he would have been as mad about it as she is. Ross testified Rachel’s rough adjustment to being on her own and should have been excited for her when she found a way to support herself. He should also know that Rachel will likely have to work more at the beginning of her career while she is paying her dues. Yet he mocks Rachel’s profession and complains that she is never around.
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He Had A Crush On His Cousin
Ross and his cousin Cassie are also played for laughs.
Friends frames several weird relationships as jokes. For example, when Ross and Monica’s attractive cousin Cassie arrives for Chandler and Monica’s wedding in season 7, episode 19, she was meant to be staying with Monica. Monica moves Cassie to Ross’ apartment because Chandler can’t stop staring at her. Ross is then attracted to Cassie himself and tries to start something with her. When she is immediately disgusted, Ross’ best excuse is that he “[hasn’t] had sex in a very long time.” Him admitting this was a really creepy thing to say doesn’t make it much better.
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Ross Doesn’t Trust Any Of His Girlfriends
Emily and Elizabeth deal with some of the same things as Rachel.
Ross obsesses over Rachel’s relationship with her co-worker Mark. Monica even tells him to get over it in season 3, episode 11, because even if he is right and Mark does like Rachel, Ross should trust Rachel. In season 4, episode 18, Ross fixes on Emily and Susan spending time together in London, causing Phoebe to point out that his trust issues are likely because of Carol leaving him.

Ross also followed Elizabeth on her Spring Break to make sure she is not hooking up with any guys in season 6, episode 19. Finally, when Mark makes an abrupt reappearance late in season 10, episode 14, it becomes clear that Ross has learned nothing from any of his previous relationships. He goes right back to wondering if Rachel and Mark will hook up. He is only able to let it go when Rachel informs him that Mark is now a married father.
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Lying To Rachel About The Annulment Makes No Sense
“Let me jump in and ask: At what point did you think this was a successful marriage?”
Chandler calls it. Ross tells Rachel he got an annulment for their drunken marriage in Vegas, but is lying because he is terrified of having three failed marriages. He apparently thinks that hiding his marriage to Rachel somehow equates to a real marriage, when it will obviously be an issue if he or Rachel ever wants to marry someone else. Ross lying to Rachel about the annulment is completely over the line, but it also doesn’t make any sense.
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Ross And Rachel Were Not On A Break
Ross and Rachel could have made up before he cheated.
“We were on a break” becomes a running gag throughout Friends. When Ross calls Rachel to make up (season 3, episode 15), she tells him she is glad he called, but he hears that Mark is at her apartment and hangs up. He then slept with another woman. The main issue is that Ross was always jealous of Rachel’s friendship with Mark. He refused to hear Rachel explain that Mark was only there to talk with Rachel could talk about Ross, which led to them breaking up. Ross is a good friend, brother, and boyfriend at times, but it does not make his flaws less difficult to ignore.