Fifty Shades of Grey doesn’t seem like the kind of movie that’d be tough to follow — but, if you really invest yourself in everything going on in the film, you wind up with far more questions than answers. The central premise won’t befuddle you too much (“Okay, so here they’re talking about sex… and now, here, they’re having sex… I see…”) but totally nonsexual background concepts and the vague activities of supporting characters might raise some eyebrows. Going back through my memory of Fifty Shades, I recalled a handful of questions I found myself pondering during the film, glossed over mysteries, and ostensibly important conflicts that never met with conclusions — satisfying or otherwise — by the end of the movie. I know there are already two sequels in the works, but seriously, this movie owes us some answers!
1. What does Christian Grey do? We spend a lot of time inside the corrosively bland “Grey House.” But we have no idea what this business does. (Theory: it makes other, smaller businesses.)
2. How could an internship at Grey House possibly abet an English lit degree? Christian offers Anastasia Steele, English lit major, an internship at his company-spawning company. A thinly veiled attempt to keep her within his grasp, but what the hell would she even do there?
3. When did Christian Grey have time to learn to fly planes? He’s a self-made billionaire at no older than 30 who refuses to be seen socializing outdoors with any of the 15-and-counting women to whom he has devoted himself totally (his words) as a sexual conquistador. You think most of his time would be confined to his office… or, literally, confined.
4. Does Anastasia just up and quit her job at the hardware store when she moves in with Christian? That’s a job, man. You’re 21, working your way through college, supporting the beginnings of a career with an English lit degree. You need a job!
5. Additionally, doesn’t Paul need her out back to help with something? Yes! Paul, her manager at the hardware store, explicitly says, “Anastasia, can you give me a hand out back?” But she never goes out back! She stays inside talking to Christian. What did he need help with? Maybe it was important!
6. How is Christian able to keep finding Anastasia everywhere? This pretty large, twice repeated plot piece is never once addressed. He seems to be able to locate her anywhere in the country (tracking her down in Washington State and Georgia), and she never bothers to ask how… or express any concern over this.
7. How did Anastasia’s roommate Kate make valedictorian? The interview questions she devised for her chat with subject Christian indicate a very lapsed understanding of not only professional interview decorum, but also of what it takes to build a good story.
8. What ever happens to José? José, Anastasia’s “Duckie” is instituted as a relatively important character towards the beginning of the movie. He’s the guy who secretly loves her, who throws caution to the wind to vie for a kiss, who even shows glimmers of distrust of Christian. But he’s ushered out of the picture less than a third of the way in! Why introduce the character in the first place?
9. And Anastasia’s stepdad? She claims to have such a wonderful relationship with the man — who lives locally, by the way! — but he only shows up onscreen for a matter of seconds, and is never mentioned again.
10. Also, how exactly did Anastasia “save him a seat” at graduation with Kate’s parents? Graduation day is hectic; there’s no way she rushed up into the crowd and reserved a chair for her stepfather before hurrying back down to her own seating area. But okay — maybe she just meant that she asked Kate’s parents to keep a seat open for her dad. But how on Earth is he going to find them? She doesn’t write down a seat number, doesn’t mention which section they might be sitting in, doesn’t even point him in the right direction! Half-assed seat saving, Ana.
