10 Quotes From Everybody Loves Raymond That Are Still Hilarious Today
From sibling rivalry to his overbearing mother, the long-suffering Raymond faced many struggles, and had many hilarious responses to them.
Everybody Loves Raymond first premiered on CBS back in September of 1996. The series would go on to consist of nine successful seasons, before concluding in 2005. Everybody Loves Raymond was helmed by the real-life Raymond himself, comedian Ray Romano. The series was created by Philip Rosenthal and starred a small tight-knit cast as the Barone family.
Everybody Loves Raymond holds a special place in many viewers’ hearts. The series received significant praise for creating such an extraordinary sitcom using such ordinary material. The show simply revolved around the Barones and their everyday lives and relationships with each other. It sounds like a pretty typical concept on paper, but it made for one special sitcom. Let’s take a look at some of the most memorable quotes to come out of the series.
“I GO TO WORK AND PEOPLE SHOOT AT ME.”
Raymond and his father
“Everybody loves Raymond. I go to work and people shoot at me. Raymond goes to work and people do the wave. Then he sits down, has a hot dog, doodles on a piece of paper, and they give him a trophy.” Because this quote occurred in the first episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, it became one of the most popular.
Robert stating this somewhat bleak fact about the contrasts between his and his brother’s work lives was one of the very first recurring jokes surrounding Robert and Raymond’s sibling rivalry.
“YOU WANT TO KNOW THE MEANING OF LIFE?”
Throughout nine seasons, Everybody Loves Raymond never lost its touch with reality. It was a series that was very deeply rooted in the struggles and issues that real people face every day – most storylines were even inspired by things that actually happened to the writers.
In an episode where Ally wants to know the meaning of life, no-one can really figure out how to give her a decent answer. Ray and Debra discuss what they should tell her with Frank, Marie, and Robert, and Frank ends up having the best answer: “You want to know the meaning of life? You’re born, you go to school, you go to work, you die.”
“YOU’RE AN IDIOT WRAPPED IN A MORON!”
There was certainly no shortage of arguments going on between Robert and Raymond. Nearly every episode depicted some instance of bickering between the brothers, but nonetheless, this relationship was portrayed in a very believable way.
The exchanged insults between Robert and Raymond never failed to be hilarious. “You’re an idiot wrapped in a moron” was Raymond’s unique way of jibing at Robert, and it became one of his most memorable lines.
“EVERYBODY HAS TO DO WHAT RAYMOND WANTS.”
“So everybody has to do what Raymond wants, right? New sheets for Raymond! Brownies for Raymond! Can’t sleep naked around Raymond!” One of the most famous running jokes on the show is Raymond’s tendency to be very whiny.
Robert frequently points this out, repeatedly stating that Raymond always gets what he wants – and everybody has to do what he wants – or else he’ll essentially have a temper tantrum. The above quote perfectly encapsulates one of the most hilarious jokes on the series.
“MY OWN SON, AN ATHEIST!?”
A focal point that Everybody Loves Raymond constantly revolves around is Marie’s extremely overbearing personality, and the fact that she is always being domineering over everyone in her family. The show absolutely would not exist without Marie’s completely unforgettable character.
Marie was always inserting herself into everyone’s business, most frequently Raymond’s. In one instance, Marie discovers that Raymond plans to tell Ally the truth about Santa Claus, and her response is a hysterical, “my own son, an atheist?!”
“I CAN’T TALK, THERE’S TOO MUCH FRUIT IN THE HOUSE!”
The above quote took place in the pilot episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, and is easily one of the most memorable moments ever to take place on the series. The pilot had a lot of material to work with and not a lot of time. Like many series premieres of sitcoms, this episode looks dated and feels very different to later episodes.
The pilot of Raymond still made its mark though, and having a memorable moment with Marie certainly helped. Raymond gifts Frank and Marie with a one-year membership to the Fruit Of The Month Club, but his thoughtful idea backfires drastically. It turns out that an abundance of fruit in the house makes Marie quite anxious and borderline hysterical.
“I TRIED NICE ONCE. DIDN’T CARE FOR IT.”
Frank brings some of the best humor to this series, being the most sardonic and blunt character out of the entire cast.
Frank’s dry humor never failed to be hilarious, no matter how offensive he usually was. Many of Frank’s lines did not age well, but the character as a whole remains one of the most memorable aspects of Everybody Loves Raymond.
Due to his sarcastic personality, Frank’s family – mainly Marie – frequently pestered him to be nicer. To this, Frank’s response is, of course, perfect: “I tried nice once. Didn’t care for it”.
“I’M GONNA SEND YOUR MOTHER BACK IN HERE TO SMACK THE CRAP OUT OF YOU.”
The relationship between Marie and Debra was always a very significant part of the series. The constant bickering occurred in nearly every episode and was almost always a storyline or a subplot of some sort. Whether it was Marie going through Debra’s fridge, criticizing her cooking, giving unsolicited advice, or making passive-aggressive comments about Debra’s “messy” house… the two were almost always at odds.
This means that when Debra and Marie were actually on the same side and agreeing with each other, the viewers were in for a treat. In one episode, Debra gets in a fight with Raymond and shockingly, Marie sides with Debra. Marie even slaps Raymond before she leaves the house, prompting Debra to threaten Raymond with this hilarious line: “I’m gonna send your mother back in here to smack the crap out of you”.
“I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING JUICED.”
Amy was a recurring guest star on Everybody Loves Raymond for a few seasons before she became a series regular. The later episodes of the show delved into Amy and Robert’s relationship, and that included their lives as newlyweds – and Amy’s life as a new member of the Barone family.
This was often a very comedic aspect of the series. In one scene, Amy confided in Debra about what life with Robert was like, explaining that when he tries to give her a massage, she feels like she’s being “juiced.”
“I KEEP FORGETTING WHAT A FREAKSHOW THIS FAMILY IS UNTIL SOMEONE NEW COMES IN AND LOOKS AT US LIKE THAT.”
Everybody Loves Raymond cast
On the topic of Amy becoming a member of the Barone clan, the show utilizes this in a wonderful, hilarious way. Upon marrying Robert, Amy gets a real taste of how dysfunctional her new family is. Amy’s own parents were quite unlike Frank and Marie, causing some tension between the Barones and the MacDougalls.
Amy also comes to see just how controlling and manipulative Marie is, and some of the stuff that goes on in the family absolutely horrifies her. Seeing Amy’s reaction, Debra states, “I keep forgetting what a freakshow this family is until someone new comes in and looks at us like that”. The Barones may be somewhat of a freakshow, but that’s why we (still) love them.
