Full House took the world by storm in the eighties and nineties, bringing three quirky men and three adorable girls into the homes of millions. The show had mixed reviews, but for many people, it was funny, sweet, and a great family program.
When a series lasts for eight seasons, the writers have to be pretty good. The Full House writers knew their stuff in this case, continuously coming up with entertaining plots for the characters to take part in. Every now and then though, the writers seemed to be a bit… off, and they would crank out a storyline that made audiences go, “What on earth is going on?” In no particular order, here are ten of those moments.
Michelle’s Preschool Dream
Season 3 episode 16, “Bye Bye Birdie,” marks the beginning of preschool for Michelle, and she dreams about it the night before her first day. In the dream, Becky is dressed like a little girl in a room filled with giant toys, and she is playing hide and seek. Jesse and Danny soon pop out, also dressed like children, along with cowboy Jesse.
The four of them await the arrival of Princess Michelle, who’s the same size as them but looks like a giant. They sing her a very clever song that goes, “Yay, yay, the princess is here! We love the princess! Her name is Michelle!” The rest of the episode is pretty normal in comparison.
When DJ Gets Married
Jesse’s grandfather Papouli is visiting from Greece in season 4 episode 1, “Greek Week,” and he brought along a boy named Silvio. Silvio and DJ are suddenly smitten with each other, and he asks Danny’s permission to walk around the table with DJ. Danny, confused, agrees, and after a quick waltz around the kitchen table, DJ and Silvio are married, due to a Greek tradition.
Sylvio tells Danny that he will take over the “family business” when Danny dies, and Danny announces that he will never die. Later, at a party, Papouli says to get divorced, they should walk around the table backward, and suddenly, everything is solved.
When Becky And Jesse Get Married
In, season 4 episode 19, “The Wedding Part 2,” Jesse goes skydiving the morning he’s due to marry Becky, but he gets stuck in a tree. He falls and lands in a truck of tomatoes, and then a cop shows up and hauls him to jail for destroying tomatoes in “Tomato Country.” Becky gets a call that Jesse is in jail, so she goes to bail him out in her wedding dress.
The cop lets Jesse go, and the engaged couple runs outside to see the car being towed! Thank goodness a choir bus is driving by, and Becky basically hijacks it to drive them to the wedding. It’s all good though because the choir forgets whatever they had planned, and they sing at the wedding instead.
When Becky Goes Into Labor
Michelle is having a Flintstones-themed birthday in season 5 episode 10, “Happy Birthday, Babies Part 2,” and everyone is dressed like a different character. Becky goes into labor, and all of the adults plus DJ and Stephanie leave. The kids realize they’re alone, and Michelle’s friend Teddy karate-chops the cake, right before Stephanie, DJ, and Joey show back up, claiming they forgot about Michelle and her friends.
Back at the hospital, everyone is still in their costume, except for Danny who opted for a hospital gown that he needs to keep closed with one hand. It turns out that Jesse needs his appendix out. He gets out of surgery in time to see the birth, but he has no idea who Becky is and keeps singing, “Having My Baby,” at the top of his lungs.
When Jesse Gets Spanked By A Monkey
In season 5 episode 18, “Too Much Monkey Business,” Danny’s sister visits, and her monkey Ginger is in love with Jesse. Ginger follows Jesse into the bed when he takes a nap, and he assumes Becky has crawled into bed with him.
Jesse starts snuggling with the monkey, who proceeds to spank him repeatedly, while Jesse says some pretty peculiar things. Becky is standing there laughing, and Jesse jumps up screaming that he just made out with a monkey. Can someone help us rid this scene from our memories, please?
Kimmy’s Birthday Party
It’s season 6 episode 14, “Birthday Blues,” and DJ has forgotten Kimmy’s birthday. She makes everyone drop their plans to throw a party, and they reluctantly oblige. The cake is made from hash-browns and ketchup, and the house is decked with toilet paper and holiday decorations.
Kimmy is still cluelessly excited. The gifts are wrapped in aluminum foil and consist of a rented video, a Popsicle stick fence, a bottle of Becky’s perfume, and a bouquet of flowers that was originally from Steve to DJ and has a card saying, “I’m crazy about you, sugar lips.” Kimmy is happy until Steve blabs that it was all just thrown together. After that, we felt kind of sorry for Kimmy and her weird little birthday.
When Greg Brady Steals The Rippers
Jesse’s band has broken up, but as he learns in season 8 episode 3, “Making Out Is Hard To Do,” The Rippers themselves are still together. Barry Watson, who played Greg Brady on The Brady Bunch, goes on Jesse and Joey’s radio show to announce that he is the new frontman for The Rippers. Jesse is being positive about it until he goes home and hears everybody listening to Barry’s new song, “April Girls,” causing Jesse to decide to quit music forever.
He then has a dream that he is watching a TV special where his whole family is bad-mouthing him, and Becky is dating Joey. The camera then finds a fat and balding Jesse who works at a garage and is engaged to Kimmy Gibbler. The nightmare causes Jesse to un-quit his music.
When Michelle Buys A Donkey
Michelle decides to make lemonade to sell in season 8 episode 6, “You Pet It, You Bought It,” and due to her lack of change, she makes over $200. Of course, she decides to buy a donkey, and he causes a huge amount of chaos.
Shorty the donkey makes too much noise at night, so he has to come into the house and get serenaded to the theme from Three’s Company for the rest of the night. That is, until Michelle and Jesse accidentally fall asleep, at which point Shorty goes and eats through Stephanie’s map project and a large portrait of great-granddaddy Cornwall. Oh, don’t forget that DJ’s face looks horrible due to a donkey dander allergy, and it’s senior picture day.
Michelle’s Growing Feet Dream
Michelle sure tends to have weird dreams on this show. It’s time for new shoes in season 8 episode 15, “My Left And Right Foot,” and DJ, Stephanie, and Kimmy keep making fun of Michelle’s big feet, causing her to have a bad dream. She’s dressed like a clown, and then her feet grow right before everyone’s eyes to the point where her toes take up the whole doorway.
The rest of the family decides to tickle her foot. Michelle suddenly wakes up and sees that her feet are huge for real! Just kidding, she was dreaming again. The next day, she decides to wrap her feet in shrink wrap and soak them in ice water. Joey later uses the ice for his soda.
When Kimmy Gets An Ostrich
After a check-up in season 8 episode 22, “All Stood Up,” Jesse learns that he has high blood pressure. Time to build a hammock and relax in the backyard! Unfortunately, Kimmy decides to practice her bagpipes for a Scottish music festival. Jesse retaliates by getting giant speakers and programming obnoxious noises into his keyboard.
Kimmy’s next step is to borrow an ostrich, who looks like it’s actually a puppet. It’s apparently mating season, so it picks Jesse as its mate (we would too if we were an ostrich). Then Becky comes out saying, “Your blood pressure!” and Kimmy agrees to keep her ostrich under control.
