Every week, we’re recapping Fuller House season two, episode by episode. Can’t touch this!
After what’s felt like an endless December, we’re finally seeing signs of Christmas around the Fuller house. Lights, stockings, and a Christmas tree mean we’re nearing the end of our time with DJ, Kimmy, Stephanie, and the kids. Lest you thought the nostalgia peaked at Thanksgiving, they packed in a doozy of an episode before winding down this season.
DJ and Kimmy are getting ready to head to their high school reunion.
Here’s the thing though: They graduated in 1995, and this show takes place in 2016. So, it’s their 21st high school reunion? What? Why? Who does that? No one addresses it the entire episode, let alone the fact that the odds are slim that anything beyond a 10-year reunion would actually happen in the days of Facebook.Furthermore, DJ reads that she was voted “Most Likely to Marry Lance Bass” in the yearbook. Except, *NSYNC weren’t really a “thing” until their self-titled album was released in 1998. We were willing to let the whole DJ’s-birthday-is-actually-in-February thing slide last episode, but if you’re going to bank your entire show on nostalgia, at least get it right.
Before they leave, they go through old pictures and boxes of memories, including an exact replica of Kimmy’s light-up prom dress. DJ talks her out of wearing it, because this isn’t a ’90s theme party. She quips back, “our entire lives are a ’90s theme party.”
As they start to head out the door, Kimmy gets a notification on her phone. Her infamous nemesis Kathy Santoni has posted a timely meme captioned, “Garbage Bag Gibbler,” which features Kimmy in a garbage bag after a prank left her without her clothes on senior ditch day. This nearly puts her over the edge, but DJ talks her down and they make their way to the party.
When they arrive, Kimmy goes into full peacock mode, making sure that everyone knows her *very successful* company planned the party. She manages to get some hecklers about the whole “garbage bag” thing, but carries on. Most importantly, she needs everyone to know that her still-kind-of-husband-but-also-fiancé Fernando is smokin’ hot. He walks in, dressed in his racing gear, and reveals that he was stung by a hive of bees while he was waiting outside.
Kimmy tries desperately to convince her former classmates that he’s usually super good-looking while his face is swollen and red, and he calls for a Lyft to the hospital.
Embarrassed, she tries to distract everyone by getting the music started. However, her DJ is (of course) caught in traffic and not there yet. She decides to plug in her ’90s playlist, but accidentally starts playing a voicemail for everyone to hear. It’s her doctor, and she needs to drink cranberry juice to flush her system and … well … you can Google it.
Needless to say, Kimmy is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad high school reunion.Meanwhile at home, the kids are celebrating a bevy of achievements. Max won student of the month … again. Ramona was named one of the Bay Area’s top 15 dancers under 15, which is definitely a thing. Lastly, Jackson managed to get all As on his report card, even though he’s typically a C student. Everyone is surprised, but they congratulate him anyway and buy him pizza.
The kids gather in the kitchen for dinner, and Jackson goes to hang his report card on the fridge. Ramona asks him how he did it, considering she’s never seen him study. Max also gangs up on him, saying he knows something is fishy. A nervous Jackson watches as Max explains that he found Jackson’s original, below-average report card in the scanner. Clearly, this means that Jackson had doctored the version he showed his Mom. Embarrassed, he storms up to his room.
Stephanie comes to find him and ask him why he felt like he had to lie.”Everyone in this family is a superstar except me,” he whines. She tries to find things he’s great at, but comes up short. Even the dog walks out when Jackson looks to him for comfort. Ouch. He begins to cry, claiming that nothing about him is special, and asks to be left alone.
Later, Steph calls him downstairs, where the family is waiting. Hesitant at first, he eventually caves when he finds out his girlfriend, Lola, is there. They surprise him with “The Jackson Fuller Awards” and rattle off some of the reasons why they’re thankful for him. He seems grateful, but hesitant. Lola reminds him that he’s her first boyfriend, and she’s quite picky, so he must be special.
Also, he’s a great kisser, and that’s enough to turn everything around.
However, not without a token Tanner moral of the story: “When it comes to being a great boyfriend, brother and nephew, you get an A-plus.”
