Hey Twitter, please verify Carl Winslow already

Twitter this week has been a veritable clusterfuck of awfulness: Between Gamergate and overblown Ebola panic, the microblogging service is a pit of despair. But have no fear, veteran television and film cop of my ‘90s nostalgia-induced dreams Reginald VelJohnson is here to save the day.

Lest you thought the Die Hard and Family Matters star had disappeared into obscurity after the last nasal strains of “Did I do that?” faded off the ABC airwaves, rest assured you’ve been missing out: VelJohnson’s Twitter feed is pure, wonderful, unmitigated bursts of hashtag-laden joy. Now, thanks in large part to a dedicated campaign by Jordan Peele and Keegan Michael Key of Comedy Central’s Key & Peele, he’s turning his 140-character act into a concerted mission: to get verified by the Twitter powers that be.

Despite being on Twitter since October of 2009, Twitter still hasn’t verified Vel Johnson, much to the chagrin of his near-4,000 followers. (Urkel, on the other hand, has 109,000 fans and a coveted blue check mark.) In the interim, perusing 367 tweets might be the best way to spend an afternoon.