The Golden Girls are as much about emotional intelligence as book smarts – but who seemed a little brighter than they actually were?
During its tenure on NBC from the mid-1980s to the early-1990s, The Golden Girls perfected many sitcom archetypes and tropes. The main four characters could be easily categorized as “the sarcastic one,” “the sexy one,” “the dumb one,” and “the sage one.” This, of course, refers to Dorothy (Bea Arthur), Blanche (Rue McLanahan), Rose (Betty White), and Sophia (Estelle Getty), respectively.
For the time, though, The Golden Girls definitely dabbles in more nuance than many of its contemporary sitcoms. Yes, there were some sappy moments and happy ones, too. But The Golden Girls was more than a collection of stereotypes eating cheesecake. It was a show filled with rich characters (as rich as that dessert!), who often were smarter (or dumber) than they seemed.
Smarter: Gloria
When Gloria turns up on The Golden Girls, she seems like as much of a yutz as she proclaims Stan, her sister’s ex-husband, to be. Of course, she could have gleaned this from the relationship Stan had with Dorothy, but she apparently felt the need to learn this for herself.
Gloria makes a lot of questionable decisions like this whenever she pops up on The Golden Girls. But while this might lead some to think that she’s a fool, it’s her ability to rescue herself from her plights and always wake up to what she is doing that makes her smarter than she appears to be.
Dumber: Rose
It might seem silly to say that Rose Nylund is dumber than she appears because, as it is, she seems pretty dumb. Between tales of St. Olaf and missed connections among her friends that lead to mocking, Rose can seem as clueless as Jason Mendoza or Joey Tribbiani – and it’s part of the charm of the character.
But she doesn’t always appear stupid – she’s a talented grief counselor, a great mother, and a wonderful friend – which makes it a surprise when she comes up with some of her more naive and silly comments.
Smarter: Sophia
Because of her naivety, Rose gets a lot of the funniest lines on The Golden Girls. The other character that gets to play to the punchlines the most is Sophia Petrillo. She’s hardly a dumb figure, though.
Some jokes might often seem like pedantic nonsense from Sophia, as if she’s punching down. But Sophia often demonstrates a depth of spirit and an immensity of wisdom, when she guides her roommates to greater happiness, that shows her mind goes beyond the laughter.
Dumber: Stan
Frequently on The Golden Girls, Stan appears as something of a conniving figure. He’s always dabbling in schemes and manipulations that might portray him as sleazy, but certainly intelligent in tandem.
Yet, really, it’s like the aforementioned Gloria statement. Stan is a yutz. Does he have charm? Sure. But the charm hides surprising stupidity. After all, no one truly whip-smart could treat so many people so poorly and still expect them to be welcoming to him. At the very least, his final arc on the show showed some emotional maturity.
Smarter: Rebecca
On The Golden Girls, Rebecca was Blanche’s daughter and she’s frequently depicted as a character who needs others to “save” her and “wake her up” to the poor circumstances she experiences in her life.
Rebecca is so much more than she comes across on screen, though. Just because someone needs guidance to leave problematic situations, that doesn’t mean they weren’t smart enough to realize it themselves. It’s the fact that Rebecca knows to seek help and that extra push that lifts her to a more intellectual position.
Dumber: Dorothy
Often times, characters who are either smarter or dumber than they seem to show their true nature in a wide chasm from their appearances. Dorothy, on the other hand, is only slightly dumber than she appears. And, at that, she’s really not stupid in any real sense.
It’s just that Dorothy always carries herself as the smartest one of the foursome, but she’s actually capable of some pretty bone-headed decisions. Say what you will about Rose, but she will never take actions that lead to someone being deported and then forget about them forever (as Dorothy did with Mario Lopez).
Smarter: Blanche
Contrary, Blanche, the last of the four main characters to be mentioned, is a great deal smarter than she lets on. On the surface, Blanche seems like a shallow, self-absorbed figure. But her savvy nature stretches far beyond her seductive talents.
Blanche provides empathy and emotional intelligence at every turn when she’s called upon to do so. She’s also a fiscally responsible woman. There’d really be no Golden Girls without the true intelligence of Blanche Devereaux.
Dumber: Salvadore
Whenever The Golden Girls embraces the format of a flashback episode, it will typically revolve around the earlier relationship between Sophia and Salvadore. Salvadore was always shown to be a hardworking character, if occasionally abrasive.
Clearly, though, these flashback sequences reveal that Sophia was the brains in the relationship. Present-day discussions about Dorothy’s father lead fans to believe that he was always on the ball, but the flashbacks show he was a man who just tried his best.
Smarter: Miles
Stan was obviously the great recurring character on The Golden Girls, but Miles made a strong play for a fan favorite in the later seasons, when he was in a relationship with Rose.
Frequently, Miles is shown to be, at least, smarter than Rose. However, he also appears to be capable of making statements just as silly and nonsensical as Rose does. At one point, he even had to change his life as a result of mob connections! They’re not very bright moments, but they always betrayed Miles’ professor-centric origin. He didn’t always act like it, but the man was a truly smart academic.
Dumber: Michael
Clearly, the Petrillo family has a lot of vacillating levels of intelligence and appearances. Michael is the last one mentioned in this lineage because even though he can occasionally reach into more delightful territory than his mother, Dorothy, manages.
However, when Michael does turn up, he never seems to have a clue as to what he’s doing. This might make Michael seem more like a plot device, which is fair. But when a character lacks depth beyond setting a plot in motion, it’s safe to say they might not have been too bright to begin with.
