Tana Ramsay revealed that Gordon didn’t witness the births of their four older children — but she’s “happy” with their choice

Tana Ramsay is opening up about a “very controversial” decision her husband Gordon Ramsay made during her pregnancies.

Gordon, 57, and Tana, 50, share six children — Megan, 26, twins Jack and Holly, 24, Matilda “Tilly,” 22, Oscar, 5, and Jesse, 9 months. Tana revealed that Gordon wasn’t in the delivery room when the four eldest were born — and she’s “happy” with their choice.

During an episode of the Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast, she said “it just felt right” to have Gordon outside.

“He would’ve gotten all squeamish and probably fainted and all the attention would’ve been on him, and this is my moment,” Tana told host Giovanna Fletcher. “It didn’t ever really bother me and I actually felt quite happy when we talked about it.”

She recalls their conversation about the decision: “I said, ‘Look, if you don’t want to be in there then don’t.”

Tana said her mom was in the room while she was in labor instead.

While he excused himself from the first four births, Gordon was there when Tana gave birth to their two youngest children, Oscar and Jesse.

“I don’t know what changed; it’s just he wanted to be there. I felt it would be nice,” she said on Happy Mum Happy Baby.

In 2016, Tana experienced a miscarriage at 20 weeks with their son, whom they named Rocky. The loss may have influenced Gordon’s decision to be in the delivery room for Oscar and Jesse.

“I think it was after what we went through with losing Rocky, our little boy,” Tana added.

During Ramsay’s cover story with PEOPLE in September, he spoke about their grief, but also how much strong the family is today.

“We wouldn’t have had Oscar had we not lost Rocky,” he said at the time. “There was no substitute — far from it — but it brought us a bond that you’d never experience in a normal situation.”

The couple underwent in vitro fertilization (IVF) for all of their pregnancies, besides Tilly, who Tana said was their only “surprise.”

In May, Gordon spoke with people about how he and Tana are “better” parents later in life than they were at first.

“I think I’m a better dad this time round if I’m honest,” Ramsay said to PEOPLE. “I know I’m better because I’ve got experience now and so I think we’ve done a good job so far with the first four.”

“And the second part of this family, with the other two little ones, I think they’re in a great position because they’re getting educated a lot earlier from their bigger, older siblings, and they’re fascinated with their careers.”