There is arguably nobody in Friends who has as many memorable quotes as Chandler Bing, whose one-liners are iconic.
Following the sad passing of Matthew Perry, many fans have looked back on his beloved work on Friends and some of the best Chandler Bing quotes from the series. Perry’s Emmy-nominated role as Chandler created not only one of the most popular characters on Friends but also one of the funniest characters in the history of television. His sarcastic wit and endless one-liners made for some of the best moments in the series and provided fans with memorable quotes they still recite to this day.
While Chandler was known for his humor, there are also some key Chandler Bing quotes that highlight his more serious side, be it through his romance with Monica or just being a great friend. They are a key part of Chandler’s greatest moments which should be celebrated. Perry’s passing was a devastating loss for fans of the show, but he has helped to ensure his legacy with some of the most memorable Chandler quotes from Friends.
“Why Is Your Family Ross?”
The One with Joey’s New Brain (Season 7, Episode 15)
While Ross was initially skeptical about Monica and Chandler being in a relationship, he eventually came around and even embraced them. Unfortunately, his plans for their wedding present are not what they were hoping for as they hear him incompetently practicing the bagpipes in the hopes of playing at their wedding. When Monica tries to blame it on Chandler since his family is Scottish, Chandler throws it right back at her by pointing out that her family is Ross. It is a hilarious display of Chandler’s incredibly quick wit.
“Oh, No! Two Women Love Me. They’re Both Gorgeous And Sexy. My Wallet’s Too Small For My Fifties, And My Diamond Shoes Are Too Tight!”
The One with the List (Season 2, Episode 8)
While Chandler is not always great at giving emotional support to his friends, sometimes his biting sarcasm is the kind of wake-up call they need. When Ross finds himself stuck between being with Rachel or Julie, he complains about the situation to Chandler and Joey. However, Chandler shows no sympathy for what seems like a pretty great problem to have. What makes the quote funnier is how it is not so much about Chandler making Ross feel better, but rather Chandler complaining about his own life.
“I Say More Dumb Things Before 9 A.M. Than Most People Say All Day.”
The One With The Fake Party (Season 4, Episode 16)
Not all of Chandler’s jokes are winners, but in his eyes, sometimes it is just the effort that counts. When Phoebe walks into the apartment in a bad mood, she knocks over a cereal box and Chandler makes a comment about a “cereal killer.” When Monica calls out the lame joke, Chandler gives this explanation, taking pride in the fact that he is willing to put more stupid ideas out in the world than anyone else. It is an interesting perspective that makes his constant quipping seem more endearing.
“We’re Too Good. We Owe It… To Sex!”
The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS (Season 5, Episode 4)
Chandler was never a ladies’ man like Joey, but he did find that he had amazing chemistry with Monica. However, when Chandler finds out that Monica considers him the best person she has ever slept with, the information goes to his head, causing him to make a fool of himself and anger Monica. Chandler makes a lot of mistakes over the course of the series, but this quote shows how he can use his humor and his honesty to make it up to Monica while keeping their romance strong.
“No, You Didn’t Get Me! It’s An Electric Drill, You Get Me, You Kill Me!”
The One with Frank Jr. (Season 3, Episode 5)
Chandler and Joey get into a lot of hijinks in their apartment, but sometimes Joey’s recklessness is too much for Chandler to handle. That is part of what makes them such a great pair as Joey’s mishaps always lead to some hilarious reactions from Chandler. When Joey was doing some work in the apartment, a drill came from Chandler’s wall, just missing his head. Joey apologetically asks if he got Chandler, but the worked-up Chandler hilariously points out they wouldn’t be having this conversation if he did.
“Hi, I’m Chandler, I Make Jokes When I’m Uncomfortable.”
The One with the Proposal (Season 6, Episode 24)
Some of the best Chandler Bing quotes are ones that speak to why he is so much fun as a character. When Monica and Chandler run into her ex-boyfriend Richard, Chandler cannot stop himself from making awkward jokes and then introduces himself in this very self-aware way. It is hard to argue with Chandler’s assessment here, as he is often seen as someone who is insecure and doesn’t handle discomfort well, quickly resorting to his comedy as a defense mechanism.
“Yes, It Was Very Sad When The Guy Stopped Drawing The Deer.”
The One Where Chandler Can’t Cry (Season 6, Episode 14)
Another sign of Chandler’s struggles with emotional maturity is seen in the episode “The One Where Chandler Can’t Cry.” When the group finds that Chandler is not in touch with his sensitive side enough to actually cry, they begin to criticize his robotic nature. Joey suggests how unbelievable it is that Chandler didn’t cry when Bambi’s mother died.
Chandler’s suggestion that it was simply a moment “the guy stopped drawing the deer” is a great example of how his dry perspective on the world leads to some hilarious observations.
“No. unfairly Enough Her Leafblower Picked Up.”
The One with the Evil Orthodontist (Season 1, Episode 20)
Joey often brings out the funniest Chandler Bing quotes, making them perhaps the best duo in the series. They work so well comedically because Joey’s oblivious nature often sets up Chandler’s sarcastic comebacks, showing that he has little time to deal with his friend’s thick-headed ways. When Chandler calls a girl and gets her machine, Joey attempts to clarify that it was her answering machine, leading to Chandler poking fun at the unnecessary question with this absurd comeback.
“Was That Place The Sun?”
The One with Ross’s Tan (Season 10, Episode 3)
The friends like to give each other a hard time, especially when they do something embarrassing. Unfortunately for Ross, he is often on the receiving end of most of this ridicule, as he constantly finds himself in ridiculous mishaps. When Ross had an unfortunate incident at a tanning salon, he came back looking farther than he planned. Anticipating the comments, Ross begins to explain that he was recommended a good place to get a tan before Chandler butts in with this hilarious sarcastic comment.
“Until The Age Of 25, I Thought The Only Response To ‘I Love You’ Was ‘Oh Crap.'”
The One With the Tea Leaves (Season 8, Episode 17)
The relationship between Monica and Chandler was not only one of the best storylines in the series, but it also provided Chandler with the first real relationship of his life. He has been shown to have commitment issues and immaturity in the past, but it is not due to a lack of love he is willing to give. This quote is the kind of self-deprecating humor Chandler is known for, but it is also a sad reflection on where a lot of his relationship issues come from and his fear of being unloved. It makes the fact that he finds true love with a best friend all the sweeter.
“And I Just Want A Million Dollars.”
The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate (Season 1, Episode 1)
When Rachel Green bursts through the door to Central Perk in her wedding dress in the infinitely rewatchable pilot episode of Friends, it shocked pretty much everyone, not least of all, because Ross had just told everyone that all he wanted is to be married again. The coincidence of the moment sets up the perfect joke as Chandler makes this remark, one of his funniest and earliest lines in the series. Rachel’s introduction is one of the most well-remembered in sitcom history, and Chandler gets his own little role in that memory with this perfectly delivered line.
“Oh God, Can Open, Worms Everywhere.”
The One Where Joey Moves Out (Season 2, Episode 16)
Friends’ entire ensemble is perfect with each of the main characters becoming iconic in their respective roles. However, Matthew Perry brought so much of himself to the role, especially in the sense of humor, that no one else could have played the part. This is spoken in horror by Chandler, to whom Joey has just revealed his lick-and-put technique for cleaning the cutlery as well as his continuing use of Chandler’s toothbrush. The situation and Chandler’s incredulity at what he just learned about his existence are funny enough, but Perry’s brilliant comedic delivery makes it all the more memorable.
“Maybe He Was Nervous.”
The One Where Ross and Rachel… You Know (Season 2, Episode 15)
One of the funniest Chandler and Joey episodes is “The One Where Ross And Rachel… You Know.” It is the origin of one of Chandler’s best witty quips to a stressed-out Ross who exclaims to his colleague over the phone that Australopithecus was never fully erect. This is made all the better and more memorable by the setting and contrast of the characters. Ross and Rachel are dressed up and prepared to go out while Joey and Chandler sit stuck to their new chairs, eating Chinese takeout. The casual delivery from Chandler and the glare from Ross in response are hilarious.
“Sure. Where?”
The Last One (season 10, Episode 17)
The finale of Friends was a pretty fantastic send-off to the six beloved characters, and as is the case with most long-running, adored shows, the last line of the series was always going to get remembered. It just so happens Chandler got that honor. In typical Chandler fashion, it was a sarcastic joke. As the friends suggest getting one last cup of coffee together, Chandler responds with this. It takes obviously a little dig at the amount of time the gang spends at Central Perk and its iconic setting for the show. A perfect way to say goodbye.
“Dear God, This Parachute Is A Knapsack!”
The One with the Birth (Season 1, Episode 23)
Long before their romance blossomed, this interaction between Chandler and Monica was made memorable for a moment when Chandler attempted to be supportive only to find himself in trouble. After Monica begins questioning Chandler on why he thinks she will not be married by the time she is forty, he gets nervous and delivers this unexpected line, launching out of the chair he is sitting on. It is a fantastic combination of physical and spoken comedy that highlights Chandler as someone who is not comfortable with serious discussions.
“Because I’m In Love With Monica!”
The One Where Everybody Finds Out (Season 5, Episode 14)
“The One Where Everybody Finds Out” is one of the best Friends episodes ever, having iconic scenes such as Chandler and Phoebe’s date and seeing Joey get infinitely confused. It is also the episode in which Chandler and Monica declare their love for one another. Chandler’s pulling away from his awkward kiss with Phoebe followed by “I love her, I love her” is one of the show’s most heartwarming moments. Friends have always been able to combine moments of heart and humor in a very effective way and this moment is one of the best examples of that.
“Monica, Will You Marry Me?”
The One with the Proposal (Season 6, Episode 24)
Friends is littered with emotional moments among all the hilarity and the proposal between Monica and Chandler is one of the most famous moments in the series. The whole exchange between the two in their candlelit apartment is memorable. But it is Chandler’s monologue that really sells the moment. After trying and failing to construct circumstances for the perfect proposal, he finally acknowledges that none of that matters and he just wants to be with the person that makes him so happy. It is an obviously huge moment in the relationship between Chandler and Monica, but also one of the most romantic moments in the entire series.
“Okay. You Have To Stop The Q-Tip When There’s Resistance!”
The One with Ross’s New Girlfriend (Season 2, Episode 1)
Joey’s intelligence is one of the funniest sources of humor and Chandler is the one who seems to be angry by it more than anyone. This is perhaps the most well-remembered of the lot, not only by viewers but by Matthew Perry himself, who considered it his favorite Chandler line on Good Morning America. It is in response to Joey’s inability to figure out how old he was in 1990 and is a wonderful joke at his friend’s expense. Friends sometimes crosses the line into mean-spirited territory with how the characters would insult each other, but Chandler was usually the one to strike the right balance with his wittiness.
“I’m Not So Good At The Advice. Can I Interest You In A Sarcastic Comment?”
The One With the Tea Leaves (Season 8, Episode 17)
Another Chandler Bing quote that perfectly sums him up as a character is this one. When Rachel is dealing with a personal issue, she momentarily vents her frustrations to Chandler. As she waits for him to give her some advice, he reminds her that it is not really the kind of thing he is good at. Indeed, it is rare that Chandler is ever in such a role as the serious one in the group. The self-awareness Chandler has, acknowledges his faults, makes him endearing even if he is also very immature.
“I’m Hopeless And Awkward And Desperate For Love.”
The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel (Season 3, Episode 4)
Chandler’s relationship with Janice in the early seasons of Friends gives way to so many hilarious Chandler moments. But, in terms of quotes, this frantic outburst from Chandler may be the most memorable – not just from the relationship, but from Chandler overall. It comes when Chandler tries too hard to be committed to Janice, scaring her in the process before he has a bit of a breakdown. The way he shouts out this line before chasing after Janice is hilarious and one of the most iconic Chandler Bing moments in Friends and is even a relatable one for a lot of viewers.
