50 Iconic Quotes From ‘The Golden Girls’ That Will Always Make You Laugh

“People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.”

“The Golden Girls” created history when it first premiered in 1985 setting the stage of strong-willed female characters who are aging gracefully with dignity. It is a treasure trove filled with humorous scenes and situations that will always be relevant to watch. I still rejoice in watching these spectacular women embrace life with full stride and the way they always strive to focus on the brighter side of life.


These 4 dynamic and awe-inspiring women taught us that age is indeed nothing more than a number and that we can set out to accomplish anything our heart desires at any time.

Whether it be Rose Nylund’s optimism and pure innocence towards approaching life or Blanche’s flirtatious and wild attitude, both are a great cocktail to have in life. On the other hand, the disciplinarian and erudite nature of Dorothy is also required in this exotic cocktail of unique personalities.

Even the adorable and happy-go-lucky spirit of Sophia will forever remain etched in our hearts, especially her classic romantic stories from Sicily.

So to revive the golden memories of these 4 phenomenal groundbreaking women, I’m listing 50 iconic quotes that will always make us jump with enthusiasm!

“Rose, I know this is a long shot, but did you take much acid during the sixties?” – Dorothy

golden girls dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
“I wonder if jewelry comes from Jewish people? In Little Falls, the jeweler was Jewish. Jeweler, Jewish—I wonder if there’s a connection.” – Rose

golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy
“How long is this story?” – Sophia

golden girls sophia GIF by HULUGiphy
“It was at that moment I realized my bosoms had the power to make music.” – Blanche

golden girls blanche GIF by HULUGiphy
“My Mother Always Used To Say: The Older You Get, The Better You Get, Unless You’re A Banana.” – Rose

Golden Girls Lol GIF by HULUGiphy
“Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” – Blanche

inspect golden girls GIFGiphy
“Let me tell you a story. Sicily, 1912. Picture this” – Sophia

“It’s like we say in St. Olaf — Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund’s Day without the headless boy.” – Rose

“I could vomit just looking at you.” – Dorothy

Disgusted The Golden Girls
“Dorothy: I have a date. Blanche: With a man? Dorothy: No, Blanche. With a Venus Fly Trap.”

shocked golden girls GIF
“Well, nobody ever believes me when I’m telling the truth. I guess it’s the curse of every devastatingly beautiful woman.” – Blanche

excited golden girls GIF
“People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.” – Sophia

golden girls dorothy
“Rose: Tell me, is it possible to love two men at the same time. Blanche: Set the scene, have we been drinking?”

golden girls
“After 80, every year without a headstone is a milestone!” – Sophia

golden girls sophia GIF by HULUGiphy
“Grandma Hollingsworth always said I was a little flighty…or was it a little floozy?” – Blanche

golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy
“Boy, I remember when I was a little girl, when we’d get depressed. Grandma could always cheer us up. She’d take out her dentures and she’d take a healthy swig from the aquarium, and then she’d put a flashlight under a chin, and we could watch the goldfish swim from cheek to cheek. We could have watched it all day… but visiting hours were only from ten to four.” – Rose

golden girls dancing GIF by TV LandGiphy
“Where Are You Going?” “To Either Get Ice Cream Or Commit A Felony. I’ll Decide In The Car.” – Dorothy

excited golden girls GIF by HULUGiphy
“I could get herpes listening to this story!” – Dorothy

golden girls ugh GIF by HULUGiphy
“No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You’re old, you sag, get over it.” -Sophia

golden girls sophia GIF by HULUGiphy
“My great-granddaddy always said that there are two things you never sell to a friend—a car and a slave—because if either one of them quits working you’ll never hear the end of it. Of course, they hanged my great-granddaddy. He said a lot of things he shouldn’t have.” — Blanche

golden girls havent you ever seen three vibrant healthy sexually active women before GIF by HULUGiphy
“You’ve given some of your finest performances in back alleys” – Dorothy

golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy
“Let me tell you girls the three most important things I learned about life: number one, hold fast to your friends; number two, there’s no such thing as security; and number three, don’t go see Ishtar. Woof.” – Sophia

excited golden girls GIF by HULUGiphy
“Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains.” – Dorothy

golden girls you know what im saying GIF by HULUGiphy
“I hate to admit it but he melts my Haagen-Dazs.” – Rose

excited golden girls GIF by HULUGiphy
“Like I’m the only person who ever mixed a margarita in a sailor’s mouth?” – Blanche

golden girls GIFGiphy
“It’s wonderful dating in Miami. Every single man under eighty sells cocaine.” – Dorothy

golden girls advice GIF by HULUGiphy
“I’m jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo.” – Blanche

golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy
“I will put a Sicilian curse on you that will be like hell on earth” – Sophia

angry golden girls GIF by HULUGiphy
“You look more like a chicken when you’re angry.” – Rose

golden girls rose GIF by HULUGiphy
“Life can turn around and spit in your face.” – Sophia

golden girls life sucks GIF by HULUGiphy
“There is a fine line between having a good time and being a wanton slut. I know. My toe has been on that line.” – Blanche

I Win Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
“It’s like you people don’t pay any attention to me whatsoever.” – Rose

golden girls omg GIF by HULUGiphy
“Fasten your seatbelt, slut puppy. This ain’t gonna be no cakewalk!” – Sophia
“I’m not one to blow my own vertubenflugen.” – Rose
“I thought I was gonna die. I swear I have never felt such agony. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes and I thought, ‘What a shame if I die now, I’m too young…and I’m wearing the wrong underwear.” – Blanche
“It’s like life is a giant weenie roast, and I’m the biggest weenie!” – Rose
“If This Sauce Was A Person, I’d Get Naked And Make Love To It” – Sophia
“I know I look square, but I’m like my father’s tractor. I take a while to warm up, but once I get going I can turn your topsoil till the cows come home.” – Rose
“Dorothy: Rose, what are you listening to? Rose: A relaxation tape. The rain is supposed to relax me. Dorothy: Is it working? Rose: Not really. I keep worrying that I left my car windows down.”
“I eat raw cookie dough. And occasionally, I run through the sprinklers and don’t wear a bathing cap. And at Christmas, I’ve been known to put away more than one eggnog.” – Rose
“Excuse Me Rose, Have I Given Any Indication At All That I Care?” – Sophia
“I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste.” – Sophia
“They were all buying T-shirts, you know, the ones that say, ‘Today is the first day of the end of your life.” – Dorothy
“Oh, Sophia. I want to explain about last night. When I was a little girl one summer we had a terrible thunderstorm…” – Rose
“I’ve been having a good time, and there wasn’t even a man in the room.” – Blanche

damn i’m good golden girls GIFGiphy
“Dorothy​: Oh, c’mon Blanche. Age is just a state of mind. Blanche: Tell that to my thighs.”

golden girls dorothy GIFGiphy
“I’m an old white woman. I’m not supposed to have color. You want color? Talk to Lena Horne.” – Sophia
“Jealousy is an ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you, in anything backless.” – Sophia

golden girls sophia GIF by HULUGiphy
“Calm Down, Honey.” – Blanche

Calm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
“You know what they say: you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he’ll die.” – Rose

SEE MORE: ‘Golden Girls’ is back — but for some, it never left

Rate this post