A New Fifty Shades Teaser, Poster, and Excerpt Are Here, and None of Them Are Sexy
Today was Christmas come early for fans of the Fifty Shades franchise, but we’re not sure we actually want these presents. For a franchise built entirely on sex, these sneak peeks at the upcoming Fifty Shades Darker were…well, not very sexy.
First, we have the teaser for the trailer (no, it’s not a teaser trailer; it’s a teaser for a trailer a.k.a. a trailer for a trailer.):
This video managed to convey in its 19-second duration:
-Sheriff Graham is looking at some fireworks (how Gatsby!).
-Dakota Johnson is wearing a shoe.
-There is a mask (how Eyes Wide Shut!).
-Sheriff Graham puts a mask on Dakota because, I guess, she cannot manage this simple task by herself.
Oh, but that is not all. Today (fine, two days ago, but shh) we also got this excerpt from the new Fifty Shades book, which is actually just the Fifty Shades story told from Christian Grey’s perspective.
Read the excerpt, below, which was posted by author EL James on her Facebook on the occasion of protagonist Anastasia Steele’s 27th birthday. (PS: Is celebrating fictional characters’ birthdays a thing now? Because mine is the same day as the twins in The Parent Trap, and I’d rather not be overshadowed TBH.) And don’t worry, this excerpt is totally Suitable for Work, assuming your workplace has no rule against tedious descriptions of men waiting impatiently for the women they are stalking.
Fifty Shades Darker the Movie Not the Book Retold From the Guy’s POV comes out in February and is directed by James Foley, the man behind, among other projects, Glengarry Glen Ross. The yin and the yang, friends…
