Romance has long been a cornerstone of popular cinema and literature, often sweeping audiences off their feet with tales of passionate love, dramatic breakups, and impossible reconciliations. But as viewers grow more discerning and social media fuels conversations around healthy relationships, it’s worth asking a tough question: Why are we still romanticizing red flags? The 2021 film After We Fell, the third installment in the After series based on Anna Todd’s novels, reignites this debate in full force.
With its brooding male lead, emotionally charged arguments, and obsessive, co-dependent love, After We Fell presents a relationship that is anything but healthy—yet it’s framed as desirable, passionate, even ideal. And it’s not the only story doing this. From Twilight to Fifty Shades of Grey, there’s a long cinematic lineage of glorifying toxic dynamics. But in 2025, when self-awareness and mental wellness dominate conversations among younger generations, are these portrayals still acceptable?
In reality, the traits that make Hardin so “mysterious” would raise serious concerns in any real-life relationship. Possessiveness, emotional manipulation, and a refusal to respect boundaries are not signs of deep love—they’re warning signals of a toxic dynamic.
Moreover, society has long romanticized the idea of the “bad boy” and the “damaged hero.” From Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights to Christian Grey in Fifty Shades, audiences have been conditioned to equate emotional instability with depth and passion. These characters are often given tragic backstories as justification for their behavior, making them more sympathetic and easier to forgive.
But understanding someone’s trauma doesn’t mean you have to accept their toxicity. Empathy shouldn’t override your boundaries. It’s time for storytellers to do better. Audiences are increasingly open to nuanced, emotionally healthy portrayals of relationships. Shows like Heartstopper and films like To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before have proven that romance doesn’t have to be toxic to be entertaining. Love can be gentle, respectful, and kind—and still be full of passion and drama.
Writers and producers have the power to shape culture. With that power comes responsibility. If the goal is to tell stories that resonate, why not create ones that model real love—the kind that lifts you up rather than tears you down?
After We Fell may be just a movie, but its influence is real. And while it’s okay to enjoy a guilty pleasure film, it’s essential to watch it with a critical lens. Romanticizing red flags in media can blur our ability to recognize them in real life. That’s why we need to stop glorifying toxic relationships as desirable and start celebrating love that nurtures, supports, and empowers.
