Everybody Loves Raymond has some of the funniest Thanksgiving episodes in sitcom history, and these hilarious quotes prove it.
Split image of two Barone family Thanksgivings in Everybody Loves Raymond
Families gathering together for Thanksgiving is a great source of conflict and comedy both, something that Everybody Loves Raymond explores time and again. The series boasts an impressive eight Thanksgiving episodes, many of which stand out as among the series’ best.
But in addition to being some of the strongest episodes, the Thanksgiving episodes are hilarious on a joke-to-joke level, with many quotes from Raymond, Robert, Frank, and Marie that are completely hysterical even out of context, and even decades after these episodes first aired.
“So, Emma, Any More At Home Like You?”
Robert – Season 6, Episode 9
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When Debra’s father, Warren, brings his new girlfriend, Emma, to the family Thanksgiving dinner, the extended Barone family is shocked to see that Emma is much older than Warren. Robert in particular struggles to modulate his reaction to Emma, being overly friendly, extremely awkward and loud.
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When Emma shows some genuine signs of appreciation for Robert’s kindness, the ever-unlucky-in-love Robert jokes, “So, Emma, any more at home like you?” Robert spends most of the series trying to find “the one,” largely at his mother’s urging, so it makes for a genuinely hilarious moment when he expresses playful romantic interest in someone even older than his mother.
“We Got Dark, Where The Food Coloring Has Puddled.”
Raymond – Season 3, Episode 10
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There are many hilarious running gags in Everybody Loves Raymond, and a large portion of them involve the Barone family’s relationship with food. In “No Fat,” Marie disrupts the Thanksgiving tradition by deciding to prepare a tofu turkey, causing the Barone men to be horrified by the possibility of eating “tofurkey.”
When tasked with carving the mock bird, Raymond jokes, “We got the light over here, and we got dark, where the food coloring has puddled.” Raymond is usually a complete mama’s boy who loves everything she makes for the family to eat, so it represents a surprising and hilarious change when he suddenly doesn’t act the way she would expect.
“That’s Good. I Love An Old Man Joke.” “I Married One!”
Frank And Marie – Season 4, Episode 9
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While there are many marriages depicted in the series, Frank and Marie have some of the most hilarious moments. The elder Barones never miss an opportunity to make jokes at one another’s expense, even when it usually results in an argument.
The episode “No Thanks” finds Frank and Marie in unusually good spirits. While joking around at dinner, Frank comments, “That’s good. I love an old man joke.” Marie, ever quick-witted, jokes, “I married one!” to which Frank enthuses, “Another good one!” Their marriage might be incredibly combative and even toxic in many instances, but beneath all the arguing, they really do love each other and all their mutually understood flaws.
“You Cook, And I’ll Watch Football With My Pants Open All Day.”
Raymond – Season 1, Episode 10
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Sitcoms often focus on children turning into their parents, no matter how hard they try. One exchange between Raymond and Debra in the first season Thanksgiving episode offers a hilarious glimpse of their very Frank and Marie-inspired future.
While Debra is nervous about hosting her first Thanksgiving in the first season of the show, Ray tries to comfort her in his less-than-helpful way: “Maybe this will be a good Thanksgiving, just us and the kids. You cook, and I’ll watch football with my pants open all day.” It’s a moment that is both entirely self-aware and clueless, given Debra frequently complains about Ray doing nothing but watching television, while both of them also complain about Frank’s tendency to sit around with his pants undone.
“I Never Thought I’d Say This, But Could You Pass The Broccoli?”
Robert – Season 3, Episode 10
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Robert has the most dramatic and ultimately hilarious reaction to the tofurkey. After forcing a bite down while aggressively slapping the tabletop, Robert manages to ask, “I never thought I’d say this, but could you pass the broccoli, please?”
Robert has many peculiarities and behavioral tics, and the series often leans into them whenever physical comedy is needed. The dramatic way in which he smacks the table while eating is played to great laughs, and his childish request for broccoli moments later just makes it even funnier.
“No, You Don’t Need A Mold, Ma, Okay? God Does That.”
Raymond – Season 3, Episode 10
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Everybody Loves Raymond has many beloved holiday season specials, but “No Fat” remains the series’ best due to Marie’s out-of-character behavior and the family’s responses to it. When Marie notes that tofurkey requires a mold to make, Raymond disagrees “No, you don’t need a mold, Ma, okay? God does that. Yeah, he takes a whole bunch of bird meat, and he molds it into a turkey.”
This is another great moment that finds Raymond being a brat and going against his mama’s boy persona. He is so set in his ways and reluctant to try anything other than the decadent feast Marie has spoiled him with for his entire life that he makes any desperate plea he can to prevent the tofurkey from being made.
“I’ve Been Told That’s How I Feel.”
Raymond – Season 5, Episode 9
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When Debra’s parents come for Thanksgiving in season Five, Ray struggles to hide his lack of enthusiasm about his in-laws: “We hardly ever get to see them, so when they come, we want to spend as much time as possible with them. … I’ve been told that’s how I feel.”
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The “hen-pecked” husband trope is one that Everybody Loves Raymond often uses with Ray’s character, especially when it comes to dealing with Debra’s family. It’s only fair that he endures her family since Debra has to deal with his family living across the street, but that doesn’t mean he will be any more enthusiastic about it than Debra is about his family.
“You Hate Yams?”
Ally – Season 1, Episode 10
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When the visiting curmudgeonly Uncle Mel complains that he hates yams, poor little Ally – dressed as a yam for the holiday – is horrified. “You hate yams?” she sadly asks. Mom Debra tries to console her, but the grouchy old man is as persistent as ever: “Yes, I do. I hate them. They’re very binding.”
This moment offers a great opportunity for intergenerational humor and adorable child star acting mixed together, allowing two characters who don’t often get the focus and have never interacted before to have their chance to shine.
“Robert, Did You Get Botox?” “Turhats.” “Turd Hats?”
Debra, Robert, And Raymond – Season 7, Episode 10
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Marie Barone is a naturally critical woman, but the episode “Marie’s Vision” finds her at her most critical when she gets glasses and begins noticing new things to complain about. One such thing is poor Robert’s wrinkles.
When Robert arrives at Thanksgiving dinner, his face is frozen due to a botched Botox procedure, and he is unable to speak clearly. Debra inquires about whether he had Botox, and the best poor Robert can mutter in reply is “Turhats,” attempting to say perhaps. Raymond jumps in then with the perfect, childish reply: “Turd hats?” The combination of Robert’s facial expression and exaggerated speech, along with the childlike brotherly banter between Raymond and Robert, makes this goofy moment one of the episode’s funniest.
“You Creepeth Me Out!”
Frank – Season 8, Episode 9
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The issue of in-laws feuding with each other plays a major role in the season eight episode “The Bird.” The Barones and MacDougalls spend the Thanksgiving holiday together for the first time, and everything is going well until a bird flies into the MacDougall home and Pat puts the injured bird out of its misery.
As the family feuds about this decision, Hank quotes the Bible, noting that God said man would take care of “every creeping thing that creepeth upon this earth.” Not to be outdone, Frank delivers the episode’s best line: “You creepeth me out!” The previous seasons of conflict between these two families, and between Frank and Hank in particular, lay the groundwork for this combative confrontation and make Frank’s ridiculous response even funnier.
