The Golden Girls’ Blanche was never shy about sharing her past sexual escapades, and here are 10 of the most scandalous stories she ever told.
Blanche Devereaux is a saucy, insatiable woman whose favorite form of exercise is carried out in the bedroom. The southern belle follows the traditions of most southern belles, a tradition where flirting is part of southern heritage. While Sophia believes that Blanche’s accent is fake, or at least overstated to attract men, Blanche uses her Southern charm, “perfect body” and “devastatingly beautiful” looks to attract men.
From her teenage years, Blanche has been attracted to opposite sex, learning secrets of seduction along the way, and using them to her full advantage. As a result, Blanche is no stranger to scandal and loves to retell stories of her scandalous past to shock and titillate her friends.
When She Won Head Cheerleader
In another competition between her and her sister, Blanche auditions for the position of head cheerleader despite not being very good at it. To Dorothy’s amazement, Blanche was voted in as head cheerleader. When asked how she managed that, Blanche explained that she happened to be wearing some lacey black underwear underneath her cheerleader’s uniform that day, and she also happened to incorporate a lot of twirls and handstands in her routine.
It also happened that there were some French words written on her underwear. Either “Bonjour” or “Bon Appetit.” Either way, the message was enough to win the coveted spot.
When She Attended Her Own Funeral
“At that moment I vowed to make that town pay for valuing my personality over my perfect body.”
Teenaged Blanche was a headache for her father, Big Daddy. One time, to punish her town for not electing her the Most Beautiful Girl In The County—as was the right thing to do—and awarding her Miss Congeniality instead, Blanche faked her death. She faked a riverboat accident and asked a local captain, whom she was secretly seeing after school, aged sixteen, to help her with the details. The town had never seen a funeral as beautiful as hers, and, just as everyone was in a state of extreme grief, Blanche popped out to everyone’s shock.
Unsurprisingly, her father sent her to a religious girls’ boarding school to try to straighten her out.
When She Was A Trapped Panther Yearning To Erupt
“Sixteen was a very difficult age for me. My hormones were racing, my body was blossoming, I had urges and yearnings to strong, sometimes I’d wake up in the middle of the night just sweating and screaming and clawing, like a trapped panther, unable to release the lusty, steamy passions that constantly threaten to erupt from within me!”
It comes as no surprise to everyone that Blanche loves sex and men and has enjoyed both things since she was a teenager. Coincidentally, she also lost her virginity a handful of times, in a handful of different places.
When She Defied Everyone At Her Prom
When She Drove Her Boyfriend Crazy
By the time Blanche was in college, she had developed her reputation as an insatiable woman. So, when she began dating a new guy, her reputation followed her, making her boyfriend extremely paranoid that she was cheating on him.
To make sure this wasn’t the case, he stalked her everywhere. Finally, not able to take the stalking and the accusations of infidelity, she broke up with him. Ironically, she had been cheating on him with his dorm mate in the one place he didn’t think to look: his dorm.
When She Drove Her Fiancé Crazy
When Blanche’s betrothed, George, is sent off to war, Blanche busies herself working at an ammunition factory making weapons. As if her fiance did not have enough trouble trying to survive a war, he also had to worry about what—or rather, whom—Blanche was up to while he was away.When he comes back home for a visit and finds out that Blanche has made a new male friend at the ammunition factory, he forbids Blanche from seeing her friend again, although Blanche protests that nothing was going on. Blanche reports back to her “friend” that they can no longer be lovers as they planned.
When She Picked Up A Date At Her Husband’s Funeral
Blanche cannot go without a man. According to Rose, Blanche is not a bad person, she’s just “horny all the time.” Blanche has never been one to believe in projecting false purity. Although she loved her husband, George, dearly, Blanche found that she could not go without a man even in the days after her husband’s death.
At the funeral, Blanche makes a date to feed her insatiable need for male companionship and sex, much to Rose’s shock. Blanche compartmentalized her sex life, separating it from her feelings throughout most of the series.
When She Got Kicked Out Of School
While Blanche was at boarding school—presumably the boarding school that Big Daddy sent her to after she faked her own death—the nuns decided to do a surprise inspection of the halls. In Blanche’s room, they found her in bed with a young man, in positions so compromising that she had to wave to them with her feet, which was placed on her lover’s shoulder at the time. Blanche was kicked out immediately, but she did not care because she had learned what ecstasy felt like.
When She Had An Affair With A “Man Of The Cloth”
“He was a man of the cloth, totally dedicated to his vocation—or so he said. But, his eyes told me he was dedicated to me. Now, we both knew it was wrong, and we fought our feelings with every bone in our hearts, lungs, and writhing bodies. But, finally, it was just too much for us, and we gave up and checked into a Best Western.”
Dorothy, believing that Blanche had an affair with a priest, is shocked. Blanche corrects her, however, saying that the “man of the cloth” she dated was a fabric salesman.
When She Became Loose
I [shaved my legs] on a dare. You know, back where I came from, everyone thought that, once you started shaving your legs, why, you’ve become loose, so I shaved them. Oh, it was an old wives’ tale. I didn’t become lose for another year and a half.”
Blanche also shaves above the knees, which surprises the ever-innocent Rose. But, Blanche loves to shave above the knees, because it is an invitation to men that simply says, “touch my leg.” The Southern Belle has always taken good care of her appearance to maximize the number of men that she can attract to her bedroom.
