The four friends on The Golden Girls are always there for each other, but they can also be ruthless with their remarks. They sometimes insult each other, making jokes that cut through the bone. Luckily, the girls aren’t too sensitive with the comments, or else their feelings would be hurt.
One of the most comical and ruthless characters, Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) isn’t afraid to say exactly what she thinks about the other women. She makes jokes about Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan) and her active sexual life. She teases Rose Nylund’s (Betty White) naïve, ditzy nature. Finally, she mocks her own daughter, Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur) for being single. Sophia knows how to be sassy and she “burns” the other characters with her remarks.
“This Would Be Touching If I Liked You More.”
In the season one episode “The Return of Dorothy’s Ex,” Dorothy considers returning to her bothersome ex-husband, Stanley (Herb Edelman). Meanwhile, Rose considers moving out. This would be upsetting to everyone, but Sophia doesn’t seem too choked up about it.
In fact, she tells Rose: “You’re moving, Rose? Too bad. This would be touching if I liked you more.” The Golden Girls wouldn’t be the same without the sweet and gullible Rose, and even Sophia should have known that.
“I Can’t Believe These Dumb Cops Would Think Anyone Would Pay To Sleep With You.”
In the memorable season two episode “Ladies of the Evening,” the Golden Girls have the opportunity to attend a movie premiere with the one and only Burt Reynolds. They can’t wait to meet their Hollywood heartthrob, but things go south when they’re mistakenly arrested for prostitution at their hotel.
Sophia, who wasn’t invited to the premiere party, arrives at the jail cell to bail the girls. She says, “Arrested for prostitution. I can’t believe it.” Blanche responds, “Sophia, we’re innocent!” Sophia cleverly remarks, “I know that. I can’t believe these dumb cops would think anyone would pay to sleep with you.” Perhaps she was seeking revenge for not being invited to the party with this insult.
“You’d Kill Your Sister Over A Pamphlet?”
Dorothy doesn’t have the most exciting romantic life. Sophia often likes to make jokes about her daughter’s single status, even though they can be insulting. In the season five episode “Sisters and Other Strangers,” Blanche thinks that her sister has written a risqué novel about her sexual relationships.
Dorothy is known for offering her opinions about certain subjects. She says, “I would kill Gloria if she ever wrote about my sexual escapades!” Sophia is quick to say, “You’d kill your sister over a pamphlet?”
“Don’t Expect A Miracle.”
Sophia even sometimes likes to make jokes about Dorothy’s appearance. A mother typically wouldn’t tease her daughter about her looks, but Sophia and Dorothy have a unique mother-daughter relationship on television.
When Dorothy is going to have a makeover, Sophia warns her not to get her hopes up. She says, “Don’t expect a miracle.” It’s no wonder Dorothy didn’t threaten to send Sophia to the dreadful Shady Pines retirement home for that remark.
“Check Your Calendar, Pussycat.”
In the season six episode “Wham, Bam, Thank You, Mammy,” Sophia tries matchmaking Dorothy with men. Dorothy eventually grows tired of it, thinking that she can find a man on her own. She doesn’t need her mother’s help.
Sophia has the perfect response to this. She says, “Strictly hypothetical. Let’s say a man wants to take you out on a date.” Dorothy asks, “Why is that hypothetical?” Sophia quickly reacts with a burn: “Check your calendar, pussycat.” She made sure to include her signature nickname for Dorothy to hopefully make the statement less insulting.
“You’re Old, You Sag, Get Over It.”
Blanche is insecure about aging and losing her natural beauty, resulting in some sad stories. She wants to stay young and attractive to men, and Sophia loves to tease her about this. Blanche is often on the receiving end of her insults, which makes for an entertaining household.
In one scene, Sophia offers some advice for Blanche. She says, “No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You’re old, you sag, get over it.” She knows Blanche would find this insensitive, but she doesn’t care. Sophia knows exactly what to say to get under Blanche’s skin.
“Yeah, Open To Everyone, Day Or Night.”
The girls love to comment on Blanche’s sex life. She seems to have one date after another, and they sometimes slut-shame her. Luckily, Blanche doesn’t let the comments ruin her mood. She knows that her friends aren’t being too hurtful.
During one scene, Blanche says, “I take very good care of myself. I treat my body like a temple.” She was just setting herself up to be teased with this remark. Sophia quickly swoops in with: “Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.”
“You’re Only Going To Sit In An Inch Of Water?”
In the season four episode “Yes, We Have No Havanas,” Blanche and Sophia are both competing for the attention of a rich Cuban cigar mogul. Because of this, Blanche should have known that Sophia was going to make a few insults.
While trying to flirt with the man, Blanche suggests that she’s going to take a bath. She seductively says, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take a long, hot, steamy bath with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms.” Sophia makes a quick comment about Blanche’s chest: “You’re only going to sit in an inch of water?” Blanche did not appreciate the remark.
“I Think I Crossed That Line When I Got A Date!”
In the season six episode “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun…Before They Die,” Sophia becomes a seductress to lure a man (played by Cesar Romero) into bed with her. Dorothy warns her to be careful. She says, “Remember Ma, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Sophia doesn’t want to be treated like a child. She knows what she’s doing, so she utters a quick insult to her daughter. She says, “I think I crossed that line when I got a date!”
“And So Are You In Anything Backless.”
As the elderly woman in the house with the Golden Girls, it’s to be expected that Sophia offers helpful advice from time to time. She’s wise and she has experienced many events throughout her life. For example, she loves to tell stories about her childhood in Sicily. “Picture it, Sicily,” is her signature catchphrase.
However, Sophia’s advice can also be mean when she slips in a quick insult. In one episode, she says, “Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless.” While it’s a harsh comment, it’s still impossible not to laugh. To many fans, this is Sophia’s best one-liner in the entire show.
