Patricia Heaton celebrated three years of sobriety in July and says that’s partly due to a conversation she had with her late Everybody Loves Raymond co-star Peter Boyle.
Speaking to former ABC News anchor Elizabeth Vargas on the latest episode of the Heart of the Matter podcast, Heaton detailed some of the defining moments around her addictions and past drug use. That includes a conversation she had with Boyle, who died in 2006, around how he stayed sober and committed to never drink during cast get-togethers after work.
Heaton said that “after a take night on Thursday nights” the Everybody Loves Raymond cast would go out and share drinks at a bar in the studio. She noted that the actor, who played Frank Barone, her character Debra’s father-in-law, would regularly attend but never drink. That surprised Heaton, who said she asked him how he did it.“‘You’re pumped up from the show. You just want to have a drink with everybody. You want to celebrate. You want to kind of have your adrenaline come down. How do you not — how do you keep yourself from drinking?’” she recalled asking. “He said, ‘You know, I just think about the first drink. And I think about it leading to the second one, and then to the third one, and I just walk through it in my brain. And by the time I think about that, I know I don’t want to be in that position.’”He also explained that by the time he had thought it through, the moment of wanting the drink “has passed.” Heaton said Boyle shared that advice around 20 years ago, and it’s something she’s never forgotten. Since she’s quit drinking, it’s also something she regularly returns to.“There’s a Pavlovian response you have to going out with your friends where the waiter comes up and says, ‘Can I get you all something to drink?’ and you just want to order something to drink,” she said. “I just remember Peter talking about that, and so I would just think about it, and just think how I would feel at the end of the meal where I would have eaten too much, and then I wouldn’t sleep well that night because of the alcohol.”
“If I gave myself that 30 seconds or 60 seconds to think about it, the urge would subside. And then I could get through the meal,” she added.
During the 45-minute conversation, Heaton also shared the “humiliating” moment she decided to get sober and how her mental health and the death of her mother played into the one and only time she tried cocaine.
