Too Funny for the Church
When John Stamos was a teenager, he swung by a Scientology meeting on Hollywood Boulevard—just for laughs. A few jokes later, the Church told him: “Get out, get going.” That wasn’t just a dismissal—it was a dramatic show of rejection. Yes, John Stamos, the Full House heartthrob, says he got kicked out of Scientology… for being too annoying.
A Teen’s Curiosity—Fueled by a Crush and John Travolta
Around age 16 or 17, a girl from his acting class invited him to a gathering on Hollywood Boulevard. He showed up, excited—and discovered the meeting was at a Scientology center. He was inspired by watching John Travolta in Grease, so curiosity got the better of him.
Inside the Building: E‑Meter Meets Peabody Impersonation
Once inside, he was handed an E-Meter—a device members hold during an auditing session. Instead of taking it seriously, Stamos started impersonating Peabody and Sherman, mocking the device by saying: “Hello… Peabody in the Wayback Machine!” That earned instant disapproval.
“Get Out. Get. Go.”—The Church’s Response
His jokes didn’t land well. He later recalled: “I was just f—ing around so much, they said, ‘Get out. Get. Go.’ They just kind of kicked me out.” According to Stamos, his sense of humor disqualified him as “Scientology material.”
Memoir Details: A Building That Felt Haunted
In his 2023 memoir If You Would Have Told Me, Stamos describes the church building as “grand, ornate and creepy as f‑‑‑”, comparing it to a mash‑up of Château Marmont, Disney’s Haunted Mansion, and a mental hospital.
During the audit, the auditor asked about crimes, beliefs about L. Ron Hubbard, and even some odd sex questions. Stamos writes that no one invited him back and concluded bluntly: “Apparently, I’m not Scientology material. Darn it.”
Why Scientology Rejected Him—and Few People Get Kicked Out
The Church tends to target people who appear vulnerable or emotionally open to persuasion. Stamos’s irreverent attitude flagged him as unreliably entertaining—not convertible. Turns out, making jokes is far less appealing than giving money.
How His Story Differs from Other Celebrity Scientology Tales
Many celebrities stayed for years—like Leah Remini and Laura Prepon before leaving, or Tom Cruise and John Travolta who remain members. Stamos, in contrast, was never a member. He simply walked in, goofed around, and got shown the door. He may very well be the only celebrity to be kicked out before ever signing up.
Social Media Reactions: A Collective Laugh
Fans and Reddit users had a field day:
“He didn’t say he was kicked out of Scientology. He said he went there as a teenager one time and was dicking around so they told him to leave.”
“Any way you get out is good.”One user called it the best escape ever—he trolled the recruiter and left without paying a dime.
Lessons from the Tale: Humor Saves
1. Sometimes curiosity leads to chaos.
He went in curious and left with a funny story.
2. Humor isn’t always welcome in serious spaces.
Turning spiritual tools into a cartoon prop wasn’t their vibe.
3. Sometimes the best rejection is instant.
Rather than spending months wrapped in spiritual seminars, he earned his goodbye fast—and never returned.
Did Stamos Ever Return or Regret It?
No. He described the place as “creepy as f‑‑‑” and said he never returned after the incident. His anecdote came up again in interviews, always delivered lightheartedly, with no bitterness—just self-aware reflection.
How This Fits into Hollywood & Scientology History
Many stars have complex relationships with Scientology—some revered it, others eventually left. Stamos’s experience barely scratched the surface, but offers a rare peek at the initial tone of recruitment and how quickly someone can be rejected—not for scandal, but for levity.
Why This Story Went Viral
Because it’s absurd. Because it involves a famous actor, topped with a cult. And because—deep down—we all love hearing about someone getting turned away for being too funny. It upends expectations, and gives us a relatable teenage rebellious tale.
Conclusion: He Was Never a Member—Just a Legend
John Stamos didn’t join the Church of Scientology. He never took classes, paid dues, or made donations. Instead, he walked in out of curiosity, joked through the “audit,” and was promptly escorted out. And frankly, his memoir delivers a perfect mix of humor, honesty, and teenage mischief.
In the end, the church wasn’t harsh—it just didn’t want him. And all the better for him.
FAQs
1. Did John Stamos officially join Scientology?
No—he attended a single meeting as a teen, but never became a member. Scientology ejected him on the spot.
2. Why was he kicked out?
He made jokes during the E-Meter audit, impersonated a cartoon character, and generally goofed around too much to be seen as “valuable.”
3. How old was he then?
He was about 16 or 17, working at his dad’s restaurant and exploring acting classes.
4. Did he describe the building in his memoir?
Yes—he said it felt like a mix of a haunted mansion, a ritzy hotel, and a mental hospital. Very unsettling.
5. Have other celebrities left Scientology after joining?
Yes. Some high-profile names include Leah Remini, Laura Prepon, and Jason Beghe. Stamos differs—he was never in to begin with.
