Back in 2017, the news that Marisa Tomei would be playing the role of Aunt May in Spider-Man: Homecoming, came as a surprise. As Peter Parker’s guardian, Aunt May has typically skewed older, more grandmother than aunt. Tomei’s casting signaled that this version of Spider-Man, led by Tom Holland and Zendaya, was bringing a youthful energy to the proceedings. Five years later, the franchise’s third installment, Spider-Man: No Way Home, single-handedly saved the movie business, and established Tomei’s character as its emotional core. And why not? Ever since her 1992 Oscar win for My Cousin Vinny made her a household name, the 57-year-old Brooklyn native has enjoyed one of the highest Q ratings in Hollywood, a universally beloved performer who automatically lifts up any project she appears in. One of those projects was A Different World, the late-’80s Cosby Show spinoff that helped launch her career. It was also where Tomei first met the actor Lisa Bonet, who, after more than three decades together in the entertainment industry, has been a constant source of support and affirmation. Earlier this month, they reconnected.
TOMEI: Hi, babe. Let’s just giggle at each other for a little while.
BONET: Giggle at the jackpot of a lifetime that we’re still giggling with each other. My goodness.
TOMEI: We do generally start with some giggles. The jackpot of many lifetimes.
BONET: We’ve always generated some good chuckles.
TOMEI: I’ve recently updated my password, so it’s no longer Yogini clown, which was what it was for a while, which reminds me of us.
BONET: What a world.
TOMEI: There’s so much to say, it’s almost like, why even say anything? Better just to be in awe of what’s unfolding.
BONET: Yeah. How to put into words the unspeakable? Well, how about this? How have you changed in this epic transition?
TOMEI: I have been healthy and feel grateful for that. I actually appreciated very much the slowing down of a lot of the extraneous noise in my life—not being on a plane all the time, just getting to have my roots. I became a bit of a country mouse, and have been going up north closer to you, as you know. But what you don’t know is that I finally got a little house up north, so I really am becoming a country girl. And getting to be more in nature.
BONET: This is wonderful news.
TOMEI: Yes. It’s been a long time coming. I’ve felt the pull for so long, but I do get distracted by those city lights and dance floors and the satin dresses to be worn. But I’ve found so much solace and joy in the trees.
BONET: And the birds.
TOMEI: So, that’s one of the larger changes. I also had way more time to meditate. I had meditated for years and years—you brought that into my life after Phylicia Rashad taught you. During this time it’s been such a deep pleasure to meditate for longer and longer stretches, and feel my body unwind. A real layer of noise seems to have peeled off.
BONET: The more still we are, the more clearly the guidance comes through in these very uncertain times.
TOMEI: Also, all this revolution that’s going on is something I’ve been talking about for a long time. I honestly didn’t think I’d see this much change in my lifetime, this much calling on the powers that be, this much tearing down of the old paradigms. It’s really heartwarming, and it brings me to tears. It’s not an easy process, but I’m really filled with joy that there’s so much waking up happening.
BONET: Yeah. The revolution is definitely here and we’re all feeling the squeeze. If you aren’t, you’re in total denial, and the more you resist, the more you will suffer. Everything is crumbling out there. The personal work is understanding where empire and those archetypes live within us. The revolution is on the inside, and learning to be new in this new world.
TOMEI: Luckily we have the giggles in between.
BONET: Being the naturalists that we always have been, the thrill of the hunt has always been a very satiating experience for us. We often find that at the flea market.
TOMEI: We’d go to the flea market together and be so turned on by the vintage clothes. We’d have our days where we’d come back to the house, and realize we’d chosen the same clothes.
BONET: Maybe there was a little variation in color or something, at most.
TOMEI: I loved that so much. I’m still an avid vintage girl.
BONET: Yeah. I’m devoted as well.
TOMEI: I love finding those treasures.
BONET: I mean, I’m a total repurposer, so finding another life for something, and letting it live on is so satisfying. And then, knowing an object’s history and craftsmanship, and you’ve got me hooked.
TOMEI: And also the ritual of it. I love that. Even in dance class, I wore the same skirt every week because I really felt that it was collecting energy.
BONET: I think fashion can become so performative in many ways, or just misused. It’s so important to look and feel like nobody but yourself.
