Mariska Hargitay, best known for her iconic role as Detective Olivia Benson on Law & Order: SVU, rarely speaks about her traumatic childhood experiences, especially the devastating loss of her mother, actress Jayne Mansfield. However, in a rare and emotional moment, Hargitay opened up about the profound impact that losing her mother at a young age has had on her life. During the Hope for Depression Research Foundation’s 18th Annual HOPE Luncheon Seminar, the 60-year-old actress shared insights into her personal journey of trauma, survival, and healing.
At the event, where she was honored with the 2024 Hope Award for Depression Advocacy, Hargitay reflected on the difficulties of processing grief at such a young age and revealed how this experience, combined with other personal struggles, shaped her path to becoming an advocate for survivors of sexual assault and abuse. Here’s a deeper look into Mariska Hargitay’s candid comments about her mother’s tragic death and how she overcame her past to help others.
Losing Jayne Mansfield: A Childhood Shattered
The story of Jayne Mansfield is one of Hollywood glamour and tragedy. A famous actress, Playboy Playmate, and sex symbol in the 1950s and 1960s, Mansfield’s life was cut short in 1967. At the time of her death, she was just 34 years old. On June 29 of that year, she was involved in a fatal car accident on her way to New Orleans for a scheduled TV appearance.
In the car with her were three of her children, including a young Mariska Hargitay. The accident killed Mansfield, her lawyer Samuel Brody, and the family’s driver, Ronald Harrison. Although the children were asleep in the backseat, they sustained injuries but miraculously survived.
For young Mariska, the trauma of losing her mother at the age of three was unimaginable. In her emotional speech at the Hope Luncheon, Hargitay shared how growing up in the aftermath of such a tragedy felt like living in a house consumed by grief, where everyone dealt with the loss in their own way. “I lost my mother when I was 3 years old, and I grew up in a house of people dealing with the tragedy in their own way,” Hargitay recalled.
A Family Struggling with Grief
Hargitay explained that because the family was overwhelmed by grief, there wasn’t enough space to prioritize anyone’s emotions. “Because there was so much grief, there wasn’t room to prioritize anyone,” she said. “We didn’t have the tools that we have now to metabolize and understand trauma.”
This lack of emotional tools and understanding left a lasting impact on Hargitay. She mentioned that in the years following the accident, there was no real outlet for processing the complex emotions of grief, loss, and trauma. As a result, Mariska had to find her own way of dealing with the pain over the years.
Her comments shed light on how difficult it is for children to process the kind of profound trauma she experienced, especially when there’s no roadmap or language to help them make sense of it. The grief from such a loss wasn’t something that could be simply “fixed,” and, as Hargitay acknowledged, it’s something that would take years—decades, in fact—to understand fully.
A Survivor of Sexual Trauma: Mariska’s Hidden Struggles
In addition to the pain of losing her mother, Mariska Hargitay has also faced personal struggles that she kept hidden for many years. In her speech, she revealed that she had suffered sexual trauma in her 30s. “I also suffered sexual trauma in my 30s. It wasn’t until much later that I found the language to acknowledge it for what it was,” she shared.
This revelation highlighted the depth of the challenges Hargitay has faced throughout her life. Despite her professional success and advocacy work, Hargitay, like many survivors of abuse, struggled with the difficulty of naming and confronting the trauma she endured. It wasn’t until later in life that she found the courage to identify her experience for what it was and begin the healing process.
This openness about her own sexual trauma adds a new layer of empathy to Hargitay’s portrayal of Olivia Benson, a character who has become a symbol of support for survivors on SVU. In her role, Hargitay has helped to normalize conversations about sexual assault, domestic violence, and abuse. By sharing her own story, Hargitay makes her character’s commitment to helping survivors even more meaningful.
The Importance of Therapy and Healing Modalities
Hargitay credited much of her healing to the guidance of extraordinary therapists and the various healing modalities she discovered over the years. “I had the good fortune to find extraordinary therapists who introduced me to many different healing modalities… These modalities gave me my life back,” she explained.
For Hargitay, finding the right type of therapy was a transformative experience. She didn’t just rely on traditional forms of treatment; she was open to exploring different approaches to healing—such as body-based therapies, meditation, and other techniques—until she found what worked for her.
Her openness about the healing process serves as a reminder that healing is a unique and deeply personal journey. For Hargitay, it was about integrating her trauma into her life and finding peace through therapy, support, and self-discovery. She expressed profound gratitude for the people who helped her along the way, especially those who assisted in her integration process and helped her metabolize the pain from her past.
The Joyful Heart Foundation: Turning Trauma Into Advocacy
In 2004, Mariska Hargitay founded the Joyful Heart Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence, and child abuse. The foundation was born out of Hargitay’s own personal experiences with trauma and her desire to create a resource for others who had gone through similar struggles.
“I built a whole foundation that responded to trauma and survivors the way that I wanted to be responded to,” Hargitay explained. “Trauma lives in the body,” she said, highlighting the physical and emotional toll trauma can take on individuals. Through the foundation, she has worked to transform society’s response to sexual violence and provide survivors with the resources they need to heal and rebuild their lives.
The foundation’s mission is clear: to offer support, raise awareness, and advocate for changes that will prevent and end violence. For Hargitay, the work of the Joyful Heart Foundation is just as much a part of her healing process as anything else. It’s an ongoing reminder that while trauma can deeply affect a person, it doesn’t have to define them. By sharing her own story, Hargitay has given hope to thousands of survivors, showing them that recovery is possible and that they are not alone.
Responding to Trauma: A Message of Hope
Perhaps one of the most powerful messages Hargitay shared during the Hope Luncheon was the importance of how we respond to trauma. In her speech, she emphasized the significance of the word “respond.”
“One of the most important things—if not the most important things—that I learned is the depth and the singular beauty and far-reaching significance of the word respond,” Hargitay said. “There is hope.”
For Hargitay, responding to trauma means acknowledging it, sitting with the pain, and offering support to others who are struggling. It also means taking the time to listen, understand, and provide the resources survivors need to heal. Her words served as a powerful reminder that while trauma may live inside us, it’s how we respond to it—both as individuals and as a society—that determines whether healing is possible.
Conclusion: A Legacy of Healing and Advocacy
Mariska Hargitay’s journey through grief, trauma, and healing is a testament to the power of resilience. From the heartbreaking loss of her mother at a young age to her personal experiences with sexual trauma, Hargitay has faced profound challenges. Yet, rather than allowing these events to define her, she has used them as a catalyst for growth, healing, and advocacy.
Through the Joyful Heart Foundation, Hargitay has become a beacon of hope for survivors of sexual violence, domestic abuse, and child abuse. She continues to show the world that while trauma may shape us, it does not have to control us. Her message is clear: there is hope, and no one has to face their struggles alone.
