Richard Kelly, the author of “The Andy Griffith Show” book, quoted Griffith: “We never knew how to write for women. We never did know, and because of my peculiar nature, and my personal relationship with women, and the difficulty that I’ve always had with them …”
On the opposite end of the spectrum, there was Ernest T. Bass, the hillbilly character played by Howard Morris who was more than willing to court the ladies, even if his technique left a lot to be desired.
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In one episode, Ernest T. says: “Well, I courted her as proper as proper can be. First off, I wrote her a love note asking her to go on out with me. And then I tied it on to the prettiest rock you ever did see. And then I give it the prettiest toss you ever did see… right through the front window.” The object of his affections in that case was hit in the face with the rock and required seven stitches.
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The writers managed to find a happy medium between Andy and Ernest T. and sprinkle the scripts with just enough romantic moments to keep viewers happy.
We gathered a few of our favorites below.
The time Opie did the sweetest thing for his “girlfriend”
“Opie’s Charity,” Season 1, Episode 8
This episode, a favorite of fans, comes early in the series, when Opie (Ron Howard) was six years old. When asked to donate for a charity drive, Opie pledges 3 cents, which leads Andy to accuse him of being stingy. Aunt Bee (Frances Bavier) reminds Andy he should trust his little boy so Andy has a talk with Opie.
Andy says it’s fine for Opie to spend the money baubles on his little “girlfriend” Charlotte.
Opie responds: “No, Pa. I’m gonna buy her a coat. The one she’s got’s kinda wore out…When I asked her how come she didn’t get a new one, she said ’cause her ma didn’t have enough money.”
Andy looks sheepish because he misjudged his son and the audience pitter-patters over Opie’s thoughtfulness.
The time Goober spied on Andy for courting tips
“Goober and the Art of Love,” Season 5, Episode 20
In this episode, Goober (George Lindsey) is about to go on a date but he’s anxious about his courting skills. Barney (Don Knotts) decides the best teacher is Andy and takes Goober to watch Andy and Helen Crump (Aneta Corsaut) on their date at Helen’s house.
Goober and Barney spy on the couple through a window.
Barney says, “Notice how he don’t call attention to his arm … he just floats it out there … unless I miss my guess you’ve got yourself a kiss coming up right about now …”
Goober responds by yelling and clapping, getting the attention of Andy, who shuts down the lesson. But, fans did get to learn how respectful and sweet Andy is on a date.
When Andy and Peggy sing a beautiful song together
“Andy and Opie: Bachelors,” Season 3, Episode 4
When Aunt Bee is away, Andy and Opie are “batching” it, but it turns out Andy is none too handy in the kitchen. Peggy, the county nurse played by Joanna Moore, offers to cook them a meal and sets the table with fancy dishes and candles. Although there was a slight glitch when Floyd the barber (Howard McNear) tells Andy to watch out in case Peggy is trying to “trap” him, Andy eventually comes to his senses and enjoys Peggy’s company. The episode ends with a beautiful duet sung by Andy and Peggy on the front porch. Their rendition of “Down in the Valley” is so sweet, especially when Peggy sings, “Angels in heaven know I love you.”
The time a feuding couple got married
“A Feud is a Feud,” Season 1, Episode 9
This early episode spotlights Andy’s role as Mayberry’s Justice of the Peace. A young couple, Hannah Carter (Tammy Windsor) and Josh Wakefield (Claude Johnson), come to the house to ask Andy to perform their marriage ceremony but they are interrupted by the bride’s and groom’s fathers, who arrive with shotguns. Seems the Carters and Wakefields have been feuding for decades and they oppose the union.
Andy, when explaining the situation to Opie, performs a humorous monologue retelling the story of Romeo and Juliet, which has these “romantic” quotes:
Andy quoting Romeo: “You can change the name of a rose but you can’t do nothing about the smell.”
Andy describing the death scene: “That boy kissed her flat on the mouth. He says, ‘With this kiss, I die.’”
In conclusion: “Their daddies coulda saved theirselves the expense of a double funeral if they woulda just let them have a cheap wedding.”
At Opie and Aunt Bee’s urging, Andy sets out to get the couple married by stopping the feud. In the end, Andy officiates the couple’s wedding.
When Opie takes Thelma Lou from Barney
“The Rivals,” Season 3, Episode 28
Opie tries to impress Karen, a little girl he likes from school, but he’s rejected. Thelma Lou (Betty Lynn) takes pity on Opie and invites him to her house to help make brownies.
Opie begins to spend so much time with Thelma Lou that Barney gets jealous. After Andy explains to Opie that a “grown woman” doesn’t play, but instead likes to go shopping or take drives in the country, Opie decides he wants to go back to courting Karen. In the end, Opie and Karen walk away, hand in hand. Oh, and Barney makes up with Thelma Lou.
The courting skills of Ernest T. Bass
“Mountain Wedding,” Season 3, Episode 30
Up in the mountains, Andy and Barney are trying to help the Darling family get rid of Ernest T. Bass, who’s bothering Charlene Darling (Maggie Peterson). Although Charlene is married to Dud Wash (Hoke Howell), Ernest says it’s not a legal union because it wasn’t officiated by a pastor. He insists he’s within his rights to court Charlene.
Here is an example of how Ernest T. Bass tries to impress a woman: “I can do chin-ups, I’m the best rock thrower in the county and I’m saving up for a gold tooth. I’m the man for you, Charlene, you know it. Now can I come over there and kiss you on the jaw?”
His courting is so persistent that Andy gets a pastor to perform a ceremony for Charlene and Dud. In the end, Barney dons a wedding gown to throw Ernest T. off track. How sweet is a guy who puts on a wedding gown so a young couple can officially get hitched?
When Gomer does the most romantic thing for his date
“A Date for Gomer,” Season 4, Episode 10
A big dance is coming up when Thelma Lou’s cousin, Mary Grace (Mary Grace Canfield), comes to visit. Andy and Barney set up Mary Grace with Gomer (Jim Nabors) so they can all go to the dance together. In his excitement, Gomer goes all out. He buys yellow socks that aren’t so porous that the hair on legs would show through, a brown belt with a horseshoe buckle, a purple tie with acorns and an $8 pair of shiny black shoes with brass buckles on the sides.
The night of the dance the three men go to pick up their dates, but Gomer unexpectedly runs out of Thelma Lou’s home. The two other couples go to the dance, bickering about how Gomer acted toward Mary Grace. It turns out, Gomer had gone to find a corsage when he saw the other women were wearing them. He says one of the sweetest things: “It wouldn’t be right for you, Mary Grace, to go to the dance unadorned.” The two begin dancing at home and have a much better time than the others.
The time Andy was forced to court in public
AL.com File Photo
“Three’s a Crowd,” Season 2, Episode 27
As we mentioned above, Andy was shy, onscreen and off. So when Barney kept interfering with his attempts to be alone with his girl, Mary (Sue Ane Langdon), Andy had to go to great lengths. He ended up driving with Mary to watch the moonlight on the lake. Meanwhile, Barney has made the assumption that the young couple went to the lake to get engaged. Just as Andy was going in for a kiss, Barney arrived at the lake with a gang of people to celebrate the non-existent engagement.
During the hubbub that followed, Andy asks Mary if she’d mind if he courted her publicly. She says something along these lines, “Might just as well. I don’t think anyone would notice.”
Smoooch. Romance found a way … despite Barney.
The time Peggy and Andy skipped rocks
“Andy’s Rich Girlfriend,” Season 3, Episode 3
In this episode, Barney learns Andy’s girlfriend Peggy is from a wealthy family. Barney explains to Andy he needs to “Nip it!”
Barney believes Peggy is just hanging around with a regular guy like Andy because she was bored doing rich things, like traveling to Europe.
“They’ve seen everything, they’ve done everything, they are bored stiff.” Barney says of the rich. “[So] they make a complete turnabout. They go the other way they look for the ordinary guy.”
At first, Andy listens to Barney’s advice and Peggy lets Andy know he’s being a jerk. Later, Andy and Peggy both arrive at the side of the lake where they’d gone to contemplate the situation. Andy realizes he was a jerk and he and Peggy end the episode by skipping rocks in the moonlight. What a romantic scene.
When Barney wants to fight Gomer
“Barney and Thelma Lou Phfftt,” Season 4, Episode 30
Barney’s big mouth once again gets him into trouble with Thelma Lou. She decides to make Barney jealous by innocently “courting” Gomer. She makes sure Barney sees her give Gomer a chaste kiss. Barney angrily runs to tell Andy: “They were hugging and kissing. You couldn’t have gotten a piece of tissue paper between ’em – they were that close. They were kissing!”
The only problem is, Gomer takes his courting very seriously. So when Thelma Lou kisses Gomer “right flush on the jaw,” Andy tells her that means she has to marry Gomer. That brings Thelma Lou to her senses and she “takes the kiss back” from Gomer and makes up with Barney.
The time Opie bought stockings for his teacher
“Opie Loves Helen,” Season 5, Episode 1
In this episode, Opie develops a crush on his teacher, Helen Crump. He tells his father and Barney only that he likes “someone older,” leading Barney to offer some poetry for Opie to recite. The poem turns out to be highly inappropriate for Opie’s teacher. When Opie buys a very personal gift of stockings for Miss Crump, she has no idea how to react.
Andy steps in to give Opie a talk:
Andy: “Miss Crump is a fine person – just a fine person – and I can understand you likin’ her a lot … But, Opie, the, uh, the truth of the matter is: Miss Crump is a little more in line with my age. As a matter of fact, she’s my girl. You’re kinda steppin’ into my territory….”
Opie: “Gee, Pa, I didn’t know that.”
Andy: “I know you didn’t, son.”
Opie: “Well, I won’t do anything to break it up. If she’s your girl, I just won’t call her anymore.”
