Original Air Date: January 24, 1984
Directed by: Dave Powers
Cat Out of the Bag Alert! This review contains spoilers for this episode!
Synopsis: Jack (John Ritter) finds a kitten on the doorstep and the roommates scramble to hide it from their landlord Mr. Furley (Don Knotts), leading to complications and misunderstandings.
Cat Burglars (Scene Stealers): The kitten Jack finds is a tiny female orange tabby. He immediately calls for Janet (Joyce DeWitt) and Terri (Priscilla Barnes) to come see.
The girls are immediately smitten. They assume the kitten is without a home and talk about keeping her but Jack quickly reminds them that Mr. Furley doesn’t allow pets.
Right on cue Mr. Furley shows up and Jack has to do some quick turning to hide the kitten. Eventually he sticks the kitten under his shirt and escapes to the kitchen.
After this close call, the roommates debate what to do. Janet suggests they give the kitten to Furley, since he’s a softie and can break his own “no pets” rule.
They realize they have to leave the kitten on Furley’s doorstep so he won’t know who left it. Jack leaves the kitten and rings Furley’s doorbell. When Furley answers and sees the kitten he picks it up and asks, “How did you reach the doorbell?” Note that in both instances with the kitten on the doorsteps something was placed on the ground for the kitten actor to lick to keep it in place.
Furley takes to the kitten right away, making jokes and asking what it wants to watch on television, going so far as to hold up the guide for the kitten to see.
Furley decides to name the kitten Patches and explains he had a cat named Patches when he was a boy. A very touching moment follows as Furley remembers how the original Patches was hit by a truck. “But you better never cross the street without my permission!” Furley insists.
Furley carries Patches with him as he answers the telephone. It’s his brother Bart, the owner of the building, telling Furley he’s going to send a troubleshooter over to see why expenses have been so high. Furley realizes he can’t be caught with a cat and looks for a way to hide the kitten as the first act ends.
During the second act the roommates are surprised when a little girl named Muffit (Kaleena Kiff) shows up looking for her kitten Cuddles. Jack goes downstairs to get the kitten from Furley, but Mr. Williams (George Petrie), the troubleshooter, is there and Furley hastily tells Jack he took the kitten to the pound. This sends Jack, Janet and Terri off to find the kitten. Janet returns first and gives Muffit what she thinks is Cuddles. Moments later Jack arrives with another ginger tabby kitten. And finally Terri enters with a tuxedo kitten. Muffit exclaims none of them are Cuddles.
At this point Mr. Furley and Mr. Williams enter the apartment. The roommates run into the kitchen and hide the kittens in the oven. After this they scramble to keep the kittens hidden, moving them back and forth from the kitchen to the bedroom.
Jack is caught carrying the tuxedo kitten and shoves it under a pillow on the couch. Terri manages to get the kitten but Jack freaks out when Mr. Williams sits on the pillow.
Terri tells Jack she took care of it but they are all shocked when Mr. Williams picks up his hat, revealing the kitten.
Furley accuses Jack of having a cat when the upstairs neighbor Larry (Richard Kline) enters and gives Patches to Mr. Furley, saying he can’t watch his kitten any more because he has to get to work.
Mr. Williams is even more surprised when Muffit comes out of the bedroom with the other two kittens.
At this point everyone is sure they are in trouble and promise they will take the kittens back to the pound. But Mr. Williams says they will be in trouble if they do anything to the kittens and gathers them up to take them home himself.
Mr. Furley then offers Muffit her kitten back, but Muffit announces she has decided she’d rather get a goldfish that won’t run away.
After asking what will become of the kitten, Mr. Furley says he will keep it. And all works out okay, although Patches never appears in any following episodes.
It’s interesting to note that the main kitten actor playing Patches / Cuddles is a Polydactyl cat with extra toes on the front paws.
Final Mewsings: You would think Nurse Terri would notice the extra toes, not to mention the color of the cat!
Many thanks to Stevie Holcomb for letting us know about the cats in this episode.
